Mental Stages

For most of my life, I have observed hundreds of people who have existed with some level of mental health issue. I use the word “issue” carefully here, as I do not wish to offend or cause harm to anyone I know, who is battling some form of mental stress in their lives. However, for the lack of a better word, “issue” works as a way to provide a broad term for much of what I have witnessed, even when I didn’t know exactly what it was.

As a kid, I grew up with other kids who battled demons of many colors (to use a different set of words to describe mental battles). I am positive that some were diagnosed and some were not, but it did not limit the severity of any of them, for everyone that struggles is facing something very real, whether the outside world sees it or not. All throughout my childhood, teen years, and early adult life, I believed myself to be fortunate to not have any of these so-called “issues”, imagining myself impervious. To be quite fair, I was rather smug about my level of invincibility. As you might imagine, this is quite the set-up to the story.

But before we get too far, please recognize that I have been right there to sympathize with many friends, and even strangers, regarding things like anxiety, depression, suicidal tendencies, addiction, overwhelming grief, and other “issues” that I thought I was immune to. Perhaps I was naive. Or perhaps I believed I was made differently in order to be the support that others needed. Regardless, I have moved through life having a rather solid grip on my mental health, trusting that I was able to rise above any sort of malady that might come my way. And believe me, it sounds funny to write that just as much as you might have found it funny to read it.

A few years ago, circumstances began to change in such a way that certain feelings were exposed about my past, while laying bare weaknesses in my misperceived armor. If it were one singular thing, I suppose it could be managed, but this has been many things and I now find myself seeking help that I have never sought before.

Here’s what this looks like for me, just as a way to share. I recognize there is much in this life that is outside our base control. I have always been good at letting the vast majority of these uncontrollables drift by without affecting me, knowing that I can control my reactions. By letting most stuff just be, and by remaining indifferent, I have avoided any emotion that is often attached to reaction. While this has been good, it has also been bad. For many years, I have been viewed as rather heartless, even in the face of the death of a loved one, for which I simply do not mourn. I have always been the stoic type, and not because it’s some manly way to be, or I think it’s cool, but just because it’s how I’ve always been. I don’t know why I’m that way, but I am. I have always been that guy.

But I have always been a rational guy too, along with being analytical and thoughtful, especially when it comes to proactive thought. So when I started to get besieged by a litany of things that were beyond my control, they created emotion that I could not come to terms with in my usual indifferent way. I began to find myself troubled. I reached out to a few people, in hopes of being able to just talk, but much of that was to no avail. 

I think it’s fair to say that most of us are bar stool therapists, in that we are able to sympathize with a buddy that is going through something in his/her life. We all have the ability to listen, although some are certainly better than others, and we can relate to one another on some plane. Mostly, we do our best to encourage one another because we remember when we went through something similar, so we provide a shoulder, an ear, and maybe a couch, all in an effort to help a friend who is going through a tough time.

But what happens when it’s more than that? If I’m being completely honest, I have attempted to offer advice in the face of great adversity, including that of mental illness. There have been a few times that I felt remorseful for having said anything, recognizing that I am simply unqualified. And this makes me realize that most of us are in that same boat, meaning that reaching out to a friend about serious issues is probably not very wise, and instead sets them up in a very unfair way. 

Fortunately, I have a couple of outlets in lieu of a counselor (which I really ought to seek). Running continues to be my greatest way to reset my brain. When I can disappear from humanity for a few hours, I find balance within my thoughts. Another way that helps me is to write. To some degree, the mess in my head becomes less so when I can take some of it out and put it down on paper (or Google Docs). I have also turned to music as a way to relax, as well as reading. Those are lesser ways but they are still effective at times, depending on the moment.

The purpose of writing all of this down is to create some sense of accountability for something I have long avoided, which is to say that I am wrestling with some demons. Frankly, I believe that talking (and writing and running) through these things is very beneficial for me, but I know that not everyone feels the same. And so I am just stating where I am at, in this format, for anyone and everyone to see that there are a lot of ways to grapple with what goes on in the mind. My feelings and issues are minor (at least it feels that way to me) and I am working through them, in stages.

Picking it up

This is the weirdest season ever, seriously. I keep messing up the day of the week, often thinking it is the day before it actually is. To some degree, this is not a bad thing, especially when I think it’s a Thursday and it’s actually a Friday. But it’s also a sign of how so many of our days just run together without differentiation. It can be disconcerting. 

Maybe you’re feeling the same way, and if you are, please know that this new normal cannot last. Eventually we will get back to some semblance of how things were in our lives before the pandemic. However, I would like to suggest that maybe a few of the things we have experienced during this time, are things that we keep doing in the future. Perhaps you can think of some of the positives that have arisen. I, for one, am loving the intentionality of giving people more space. This is not to say that I don’t wish to greet people in a more natural way, such as with a hug, but there is a distinct difference in the consideration of others when we give them comfortable space, instead of crowding them for no other reason than you think it’s just the way it is. 

Perhaps this is the bigger lesson here, that we become more considerate of one another. Shouldn’t that be a desire for us regardless? Surely, but as busy as we are, who truly takes the time to be extra observant of those around them? I am sure that as you read this, you believe you are observant of others, and that you are considerate of the people in your sphere of influence. The important part to remember is that your sphere of influence is not about the people you like, but about every person you come into contact with on a daily basis. Read that again… EVERY PERSON you come into contact with on a daily basis.

If we are required to give people a little extra space during this time, then perhaps we can keep that up once things open back up a bit. This means in your driving, your shopping, your activities in any public space, and even your workplace. Does this really seem so far-fetched?

Roller Coaster

Over the years, I have gone through moments of what I would call great writing success. In those moments, I wrote a lot. There have also been times where I have written little, or none at all. I suppose this is probably no different than a lot of us, who go through the ups and downs of life, when there are moments of clarity, or great insight, or depression & sadness, or a litany of other emotions or reasons why our lives often resemble that of a roller coaster. Where are you right now, on this so-called ride?

Current world events notwithstanding, each of us must determine how to approach the realization of each up, down, twist, turn, or roll. Typically, as each of these moments approach, we can see, or sense, something is coming. At that point, we make choices. 

Picture yourself in that roller coaster car. Are you the one with your hands up, smiling, taking it all in, eyes wide open, thankful for the ride? Are you the one with your eyes closed, screaming, muscles tensed, bracing for every move? Are you about to pass out? About to throw up? About to cry?

To me, it seems like each circumstance determines its own reaction, which in turn has its own set of unique choices. You might be the one who is smiling right now, but you might also be very private about your joy, choosing to keep this moment to yourself. You could be very fearful about this next turn, which could lead you to either shrink into your own self-doubt, or it could lead you to spread that fear to others. Regardless, there are a lot of choices involved, and believe it or not, you have control over nearly every one of them.

In my own life, the past few years have had their fair share of tough times. But there have also been a few mountain top moments too. The choices I make today are often refined by the choices I have made at those low moments, perhaps when I have had time to reflect. Are you in one of those low moments right now? Have you taken the time to reflect on past decisions and future outcomes? Are there regrets? Does sorrow outweigh your joy?

Every roller coaster seems to start with a climb and then a great fall. But throughout the ride there are plenty of other low moments that always seem to be followed by high ones, all ending with a bit of a gentle roll into the station. The low spot you find yourself in is invariably to be short-lived. Another high point is coming. And to get there, you may have to climb out. Slowly. Take heart. You’ll get there.

A look back at 2019

Here we are, at the precipice of another year. These past 12 months have been a blur, of sorts, with many ups, but certainly a few downs. From a running perspective, this has been my best year on many fronts, and one that I am trying to look back on with maximum insight.

Earlier this year, a running friend suggested I “have some hubris”, which made me pause. Until recently, running has been a recreational hobby for which I have sought friendships and physical fitness, while also using it to bring me some much needed mental clarity. Running competitively was something I actually fought. So much so that I regularly told my friends that I just didn’t want to spend the money on scores of races because I wasn’t interested in competing. I loved the camaraderie and the places that running took me. The idea of racing seemed foreign and not worth all the work. With that, I raced in a few events but never really trained effectively and chose to be happy with the results. In 2017, a couple of close friends began to push me to race. Their pleas were friendly enough, but they saw something in me that I chose to ignore, because again, it seemed like way too much work. At the end of that year, I signed up for a small, local race, and with the voices of those friends in my ear, I chose to push myself a little more than I had before. The result was a win, which was something I had never experienced before. And just like that, a fire was lit.

Coming into this year, having pushed myself a little in 2018 to distances I had never dreamed of (my first and then second 50K and my first 50 miler), I had been working with a friend who coached me to build a solid base and lay down some fundamentals. The year started out with a bang, as I traveled to Springfield for my first 50K of the season. In what would be symbolic of nearly my entire season, I led from the start and won. There were new feelings inside me that were very strange. How could this be possible? To be honest, I fought some internal voices that told me I was too old, that I didn’t have the pedigree or history in this sport, and that I must have gotten lucky. I didn’t give myself a lot of time before tackling another 50K just 4 weeks later. This race went the exact same way, with me leading from the start and beating the course record by over an hour. This was leading me to my very first 100K in mid-April, and I was petrified.

Getting to that race was daunting, mainly because the idea of running 62 miles seemed ridiculous, but I had begun to learn how to mentally prepare, and by the time I lined up for that event, I had no doubts that I would complete it. I went out easy and yet I still led from start to finish, this time breaking the course record by over an hour and a half. Even with some early season successes, I still had some doubts, but that wasn’t what would eventually do me in when I got to my 50 miler in July. It turns out that I developed a bad case of “cocky” and would end up DNFing after 29 miles, due to the simple fact that I was a moron. Poor sleep, lack of hydration, and arrogance led to a disappointing finish, but I picked myself up, learned from my mistake, and swore not to make that one again. It was just before this race that I also hired a new coach. More on that later.

Heading into August, I was fortunate enough to be on the same ultra relay team that won the 2018 Elkhorn Relay, setting an ultra team record, and an overall course record to boot. We got pumped up for 2019 and knew there was another fast ultra team that would be there. From the start we pushed, and in just a few legs we seemed to be pulling away from the otherguys. But just as we thought we might be leaving them in the dust, they suddenly appeared, overtaking us. We pushed on, passing them again, pulling away. And yet, here they came again. Near leg 31 (of 36 legs), we were told we had built nearly a 2 hour lead. We pushed even harder, knowing they had seemed to appear out of nowhere twice before. Sure enough, in just 3 short legs, they were a mere 4 minutes behind. We didn’t understand. How could this be? As we carried on, it became evident they were picking up their runners at times and driving them forward in an effort to catch us. We were blown away that anyone would do that for a race, but we kept at it nonetheless. In the end, the other team was disqualified, we were crowned the victors, and as had appeared to be customary by this point, we shattered our own course record by nearly 3 hours. The experience was the stuff of movies, and we talked about if for weeks after.

My training had taken me to new levels, thanks to a new coach, who bumped up my mileage and elevation gain far beyond anything I had ever done. My highest mileage year before this one was 2018, where I squeaked past 2,100. My highest elevation gain was also last year, in which I managed just under 160,000 feet. Both of those totals seemed gaudy at the time, and I remember hoping I could come close to those again. Halfway through this year, I was on pace for 3,000 miles and 240,000 feet of gain. I still find those numbers staggering, and yet I am fully aware of what 2020 could be. As I contemplated my stats, I also knew that my first 100 miler had become an active part of my conversations with my coach and close friends. And while I did not attempt one this year, I did enter a lottery for one that would have taken place in late September. When I wasn’t selected in the initial lottery, I pulled my name from the hat and chose instead to find a tough 100K for a late season race. Little did I know what lay ahead.

When I signed up for the NUT 100K, a lot of weird things went through my head. It really was less about the distance, because I had already pulled that off once, but more about the elevation gain, which rivals many 100 milers. I did my best to keep my training and my climbing maxed out in an effort to be as ready as possible. Sidebar; I’m not sure I was ready for that. Still, the day came and I was excited for the opportunity to run in an area I had never been, while also hoping for some high quality competition. The day was ideal, and as is now kind of my modus operandi, I led from the start. There were many times late in the race I was certain someone was coming up behind me, and yet, no one came. I would win my second 100K of the year, along with a sweet new Suunto watch! I still stare in awe at the picture the race organizer took of me finishing. How did I do that? I seem to go back and forth a lot about what I’m truly capable of. And yet, God has given me some cool skills that I am trying hard to use to the best of my abilities.

The first person I called, after finishing, was my wife. Funny thing is she already knew because there was a live feed on FB of the race and she had seen something pop up. The second person I called was my coach. At this point, it is important to point out that I am working hard to listen to someone who has far more experience in racing ultras than I will probably ever have. I am extraordinarily thankful for Sean, but also for my friends who have helped get me this far. Even more, I am insanely thankful for my wife, who has transformed my diet and kept me in line to be as present at home as I am on the trail.

This next year is unknown. Each day is a gift. My goal is to face it head on. I have signed up for my first 100 miler, which happens in late March. I have two 50K’s and a 25K on the books as well. Beyond those, I am planning to chase an even bigger dream, by signing up for a race that has National Team implications. The idea of running and racing for my country is almost overwhelming, but I believe it’s worth chasing. Further, I will seek a Western States qualifier at some point this year, believing I can set an age group record for that event.

I’m not going to lie, I’m having fun with this. There are still struggles to overcome, but as the song says, “I just want to live before I die.”

Chasing spring, spying summer

In years past, I tended to stay away from races in the winter, with only a few minor exceptions. I’m not a huge fan of running in deep snow or any kind of ice. If that’s your thing, fantastic. Not me. However, as 2018 came to a close and I began to lay out my plan for racing in 2019, I placed 2 races in the winter season. Both races were of the 50K variety, with one being flat (200’ of gain) and the other being anything but flat (6,000’ of gain). Following those races, I placed my first 100K (ever) at the end of April, in hopes that old man winter would be dead and gone by then.

Fortunately, the snow was long gone by the end of April and I was able to (mostly) enjoy my foray into running 60 miles at once. I could have done without the wind that day, but we powered through. Following that race, I stared hard at the calendar, as it would be 2-1/2 months before my next big race. Fortunately, there is much good that comes in these middle spaces for me. This past weekend, just 2 weeks removed from my 100K, my wife and I split a half marathon together as a race, taking 3rd among teams doing the “relay”. It was fun to see her do so well at just over a 10K distance, with no pain, and smiling at the end. We left there and enjoyed a wonderful breakfast together.

On the first weekend of June, we will get to run together again on a 6 person relay team, all in the name of fun, as the total race distance is only 54 miles, and we will be with friends. The following weekend, our eldest will graduate from high school and a great horde will descend upon our home for a great weekend of celebrating.

As I begin to ratchet my mileage back up, heading further into spring, I am reminded that I am very fortunate to have the support I have. This running community is something I deeply cherish, but more importantly is the team I have at home. My mental state is typically quite good when I am running and maintaining high mileage, but part of that mental state is knowing that I am well taken care of. I can see ahead to the summer and there are 2 major races coming, both being my golden rings for the year. I have high expectations for both, but before getting there, I have to train my socks off. It is humbling to know that the rails are secure beneath me as I carry on.

Run on, friends.

Post flu, finding dirt and testing new things

Week before last, I was coming out of my recovery week, following my most recent race. Typically, I like to kick the mileage down to the high 30’s or low 40’s, depending on how I’m feeling. My recovery week ended up being nearly 49 miles....so not the normal, but I was feeling great! Which is perhaps how I came down with the flu.

As I tripped into the week of the 11th, I went from feeling strong and ready to feeling weak and miserable. I took 3 days off in hopes of letting it pass and ran an easy 6 on the mill (read as dreadmill). Sadly, the idea of “burning” the sickness out by way of running hard was not as easy as I had hoped. Over the next 3 days, I did 11, then a double of 6 and 11, then finally another 11, to finish with 45 miles for the week. All this on a week that I felt should have been closer to 60. I get it, rest and recovery are critical, but when the brain pushes and the heart craves, the body relents, even when it screams stop.

The week of the 18th started with renewed hope. I got some intervals and stair work in, then a solid mid-tempo mill run, then a fairly crazy run in foot deep snow that required some crazy, high-knee work, but left me muddy all over. YESSSS!!

After a tough lunch run, which included some nasty 25 mph head winds and rain, I had hopes for a Saturday run on dirt. For those who haven’t had the joy of being buried by the snow this winter, let me just say that I have been aching to feel dirt under my feet for far too long. I took the advice of a fellow runner and friend and went east where I was told they had trails again. I showed up at the Barnes Butte (Prineville, OR) trail head just before 9am to meet my buddy. As we headed out, there was almost immediately the presence of ice and snow in the shadows of some nearby trees. But I had anticipated that and figured I would just get in 10-12 and be happy with whatever, expecting to traipse through a fair amount of snow. I had no idea how wrong I would be.

As we headed into the woods, it wasn’t long before we were climbing, which is kind of one my favorite things. I expected snow. There wasn’t any. We kept going up. There must be some at the top, I thought. I was wrong again. It wasn’t until we drifted off the north face of our climb before we found ourselves bounding through some 7-10” deep white stuff, but it didn’t last long. About a mile later we turned up another hill, heading south and east. There was a solid dirt trail the entire way. And soon, it was gone. We crested that hill and came upon glorious, sweet, beautiful, snow-free single track. My heart did a little jumping jack. My feet did a little dance. We moved on. For the next 6 miles we ran on nothing but dirt. Without snow. With no ice. Where rocks were visible. And it was amazing.

When we got back to the trail head, we both remarked how we had perhaps taken our trails for granted, ever since losing them to old man winter. This year, the snow came hard and fast, and covered everything with at least 2 feet of it, all within 24 hours. The treadmill became necessary and the flu became OK, because where was I going to run anyway?!

Saturday was the reset my heart and soul needed. It also provided me an opportunity to test new things, namely shoes and a neat new vest. I’ll post gear reviews soon for both, so stay tuned.

Tonight will be the cap to my week, finishing over 60 for the first time in a month. The flu seems to be mostly gone, although my voice is still suspect. The dirt is reappearing in most of my favorite haunts, and soon, all remnants of snow will be gone, for now.

Run on.

Learning

Moving in new directions requires change. For most of us, we regard change as scary and recognize how we will have to adapt to whatever the change is. Adjusting to change is prickly and it hurts. Things are no longer as they were.

As we age, we experience new things. We all change to some degree or another. Some of us choose to remain a certain way, based on our thoughts, our actions, our opinions, our decisions, our speech, our behaviors, and so on. Depending on your sphere of influence, you may remain the same because those around you remain the same. This happens in tight knit cultures and communities. In more open societies, where parents move around and kids are forced to make changes to their surroundings, their friends, their schools, their very way of lives, we see how change affects those thoughts, actions, opinions, decisions, and so on.

An outside influence can be very powerful for most people and is often the primary reason why change happens, even when we might not want it. When a job change happens unexpectedly, for whatever reason, it brings a change to the people you have around you. You begin to hear different voices, who have different opinions and live differently than the host of people you were surrounded by in your last job. The same can be said when you move, or change schools, or churches.

Another shift happens when you choose to make a major life change, such as quitting a harmful addiction. You may find yourself around a new group of people because you can’t be around those who fed your addiction. This is a part of the recovery process and is typically very healthy for maintaining the change you are making. But this also comes with its bevy of issues, because this new set of people also have their own behaviors and opinions and such. Their speech patterns and characteristics are different than what you have been used to so you must adapt. But you must also make new choices about what you choose to see, what you allow yourself to be controlled by, how you react, and so forth.

When I was younger, I remember reading a series of books that were known as “choose your own adventure”. The series was fascinating because throughout the book there were points where you had to make a choice that was to affect the outcome of the story. I loved this concept and read as many of the books as I could get my hands on. I even remember wanting to write my own! The idea hearkens from our own lives, where we have a set of choices to make each day. Those choices determine an outcome, and sometimes it’s not good. Each of us has made a bad choice or two, and had to live with the consequences. As we go through life, and change becomes a part of who we are and what we face, we must also recognize our own culpability in the change that takes place. The choices we make affect the changes that often occur. The choices of others have an affect on us, and likewise, the choices we make have an affect on others. This will always be true. We call this the ripple effect.

Currently, I am witnessing the outcome of decisions I have made in the past year. My decision to walk away from being a pastor is still being felt and it is having an impact on others. The decision to move towards being a competitive ultra runner is having a massive impact on others. The changes that are being wrought through these decisions are bringing change for people around me, not just me. These changes are not always easy to deal with and are often regarded as inconvenient and difficult. I am being impacted by those who desire certain things and decisions from me, regardless of my opinions. Each new place I walk into has new faces with new agendas and perspectives, it can all be very overwhelming. And yet through all of this, I am learning.

One thing for certain is people have weird expectations. I chose to use the word weird because I’m also trying not to piss everyone off. But in all honesty, the expectations of others often bring chaos to a situation when none was warranted. If you are a parent and you have an expectation that your child will wipe his butt after going to the bathroom, you probably have a right to be a little angry about massive skid stains when it’s time to do laundry. That might be a graphic example but I like to make it obvious. There are a lot of people in my life who, for whatever reason, have decided that they have some reasonable right to expect me to be something they want. If I had not witnessed it so glaringly in this last year it would be pure speculation, but this is blatant, much like my example above, and stinks just as much. Expectations are not always bad, but they tend to be best served when they are broadcast and everyone knows what they are. Instead, there are those who harbor expectations without sharing them and then decide you need to know them after you’ve made a decision that does not align with their irrationality. Once again, this stinks.

The struggle becomes more than real when relationships are tarnished in the process. What was something that could be counted on becomes something that is suspect, because privately held agendas are dangerous. And while change is difficult for some, it is extremely difficult for those who place hidden agendas and purpose upon certain individuals, only to realize that a person is not a commodity and is subject to change. One thing I am learning through this is who to trust and who to respect as a threat to my well-being. There are lots of well-meaning people out there who seem to want the best for you, but when you zig instead of zag, you must realize that your decision may have an insane impact upon them. Without question, this all brings up the necessity of communication, both spoken and written. Yet isn’t that a shame? It seems shameful to me that we can no longer trust someone because of their expectations of us, even if we simply tell them our plans. A true friend will support you in your plans and warn you if they seem crazy. But a true friend will not get upset at you because you didn’t do what they wanted you to do for yourself. That might seem like a real tongue twister, but it’s true.

In a deeper search for who I am, I have recently discovered some new things about myself. I have been sharing them with a few select individuals. In some cases, I have found unlimited support, but in others I have found disappointment; not for what I am doing, but for what I am not doing, which is what they would have me do. That hurts. A lot. But I’m still learning.

Reflecting on 50

The number “fifty”, and therefore the word itself, has many connotations. If asked to list out prominent associations with the number 50, one might think of the golden wedding anniversary, which is indeed significant. Another representation of 50 may be in percentages, which is to say that 50 is half of something. There are many significant ways we use 50/50 as a ratio all the time. As you read this, you have certainly come up with other examples of how the number 50 can be seen as a popular number. For me, it has special meaning for a variety of reasons. Let me explain.

As aforementioned, 50 years of marriage is one way we are familiar with this number. Both sets of my grandparents were married for more than 50 years. One set made it 68 before my grandfather, on my mother’s side, passed. For me, marriage is a big deal. Enough so that I am convinced that God is calling my wife and I to serve married couples as long as we live. I will be 78 years old when my wife and I celebrate 50. I am looking forward to the next 30 years, and more, with my bride.

Long before 50 years of marriage becomes a reality for me, there are a couple of other significant mentions of this well loved number. This past summer has seen the completion of two 50K trail-running races. After having failed in 2 previous attempts back in 2014 to run this distance, I not only succeeded for the first time in July, but finished my second just 7 weeks after the first. Both of those accomplishments felt good, because I have begun to get a hold of what God has given me regarding this talent to run long distances.

After completing these two races, I began to set my sights on another 50, but this time a 50 miler, not a 50K. In the world of ultra-running, this is the next logical step forward. Running 50 miles is beyond imaginable for many, but for me it is just a stepping stone on my way to going longer. My first 50 miler is in my backyard, literally. I will have the pleasure of racing 50 miles up at Smith Rock, among friends and family. It is something I am looking forward to with much excitement.

50 as a number is certainly significant in regards to running, but it is also occupying a small piece of my brain in one other area, and that is age. I am just 20 months shy of turning the silver corner, and with it, allowing contemplation to play its part. Many people say that age is just a number and I am hardly one to argue. Others say that you are only as old as you feel. Depending on the day and the amount of miles I have run, there are some days I feel like 20 and others I feel like 80, but I am blessed beyond measure for the ability to even think about what I can do at my age, when so many others cannot.

The implications of 50 have never meant that much to me until this year, when suddenly I became aware of it like never before. Like the distance, I don’t dread the age, but look forward to it, recognizing it is one more thing to accept and embrace. If running 50 miles is as easy as I think it is, turning 50 should be a piece of cake.

2 guys...walking home

Today we are going to walk through an amazing piece of Scripture. We will be working through Luke 14:13-35, learning about 2 guys who had their lives flipped upside down, then back over, then upside down again. Sound anything like your life sometimes?!

2 guys, walking home...for 5 hours.

Luke 24:13-14. 2 guys are walking home, talking as they go. A lot has happened in the past few days and this duo has seen it all. These 2 men were probably a little skeptical and may have had some doubts about what it all meant. Imagine you’ve seen a terrible car accident take place in front of you. Even if you didn’t know anyone involved, the sheer sight of tragedy can affect you in weird ways. In this situation, these two men had spent some serious time with Jesus and had witnessed His death. Even though they had heard rumblings of an empty tomb, the sheer sight of what they had seen just a few days earlier would have shaken them both.

Here’s a recap: In the last 3 days alone, they saw Jesus get crucified and die. All their friends scattered, including them, as they sought refuge from Jews who wanted them dead. These 2 were headed to Emmaus and it is believed they were on their way home. Were they escaping to safety? Were they fleeing because there were threats on their lives? Think about it, there had to have been countless questions and concerns in their minds. Can you imagine the conversation? The hushed voices that spoke with urgency and possibly fear? The furrowed brows, the looks of desperation?

2 guys, walking home, lots to talk about, lots to worry about.

Everything they had witnessed had been so dramatic, how could they not talk about it?! Further, there might have even been some conversation regarding what they were going to do if Jesus was indeed gone. What’s next?

Think about this for a moment. Try and relate to the shock and grief and confusion and crazy emotions that these 2 were going through. Before they had left on this journey they had heard that Peter, among others, had discovered the empty tomb. In fact, in verse 10 of Luke 24, it says that Mary Magdalene and other women had seen the empty tomb and had reported what they had seen to the apostles. These 2 men were apostles, so they were aware of the empty tomb. They had to have been so confused!

2 guys, walking home...hoping for hope.

And yet even with the confusion and drama of the moment, these two men headed home along this road that would take them to Emmaus. The trip took roughly 5 hours and had probably been made dozens of times by these two. They knew what they were in for. Realistically, they started their trip just after the sun came up that day. However, can you imagine a 5 hour trip made on foot? I think that’s the modern day equivalent of following your kids around Disneyland for a day.

In verse 15 it says that while these 2 were walking along, Jesus walks up and joins them on their journey. Jesus, being Jesus, gets right to the heart of the matter and boldly asks them what they are talking about. At the end of verse 17 it says that they stood still, looking sad.

2 guys, walking home...hope walks up.

Okay, so they’re walking along, Jesus walks up alongside and inserts Himself in the conversation and wants to know what’s up and these 2 guys stop walking and look at Jesus with what must have been an amazing and yet dumbfounded look (demonstrated through action). I can picture these 2 standing there with their hands in their pockets, scraping the ground with their feet, a single tear streaming down their faces, like 2 lost puppies, as they attempt to tell Jesus what happened to Jesus.

Our 2 heroes were so caught up in their own pity party, they didn’t even realize it was Jesus. Have you ever been there? Have you ever been so focused on what you were doing that you didn’t even realize the obvious? OK, show of hands, who here has hunted for their glasses only to discover they were on top of your head the whole time? Making matters worse is the person who points them out for you, as they laugh hysterically at you.

2 guys, walking home...hope is with them, even though they didn’t know it.

Fortunately, there is no written Scripture of Jesus laughing at these 2 men. Instead, they tell Jesus about Jesus and about all that had taken place over at least the past 2 years. About the crucifixion, the resurrection and about how there were those who had witnessed the empty tomb. In verses 22-24, we see the proof of the eyewitness testimony of the empty tomb and how these 2 men knew, but clearly they had massive doubt swirling inside because then Jesus hits them verse 25 and 26.

2 guys, walking home...hope builds.

Jesus may not have laughed at them but He certainly called them foolish and called their faith out on the carpet. These 2 guys were about to get the greatest history lesson of their lives, all while walking for 5 hours. Eventually, they get to where they were headed and even after being called dumb, our 2 gentlemen invited Jesus in for a meal. In verse 30, as Jesus is blessing the meal and breaking the bread to serve them, it says that their eyes are opened and they realize it was Jesus. This might be the world’s greatest AHA moment! Probably a little more special than when you reach up and grab those glasses from atop your head. You may have had an AHA moment but I’m sure you weren’t nearly as excited as these two were.

2 guys, walking home...hope arrives.

How many of us can honestly say that we recognize when God is right there with us? At moments of doubt and fear, don’t we usually turn inwards and focus on getting out of the hole we’re in? Think about it, you lose your job and what happens next? Within 5 minutes, the social media world knows everything and the “woe is me” party is on! We “travel” through life for the next several days adjusting to the new normal. Things are no longer the way they were and we immediately focus on ourselves. Why? Because it’s self-preservation! We freak out, we mope around, we complain about it, we rant a little and then we dust ourselves off and walk home!

Philippians 4:6-7 - “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

2 guys, walking home...it doesn’t have to be this way.

These 2 guys had lost a lot and now they were walking home, not sure what to do next. Jesus walks up and immediately shakes these guys up. In fact, it’s like Lucy walking up to Charlie Brown and calling him a blockhead for doing something dumb. Jesus had spent some amazing quality time with these 2 men and now here they were, completely turned inward, focused on a life without Him. They were in fear, they were moping, they would have posted it on Facebook but, you know. The “woe is me” party was in full swing for a 5 hour walk!!

2 Timothy 1:7 - “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

2 guys, walking home...there is a better way!

Remember that feeling of realizing your glasses were on top of your head the whole time? Did you feel a little dumb? A little sheepish? A little embarrassed? Our eyes may have been kept from recognizing that our glasses were right there the whole time and yet it doesn’t change the fact they were there anyway, we had never lost them.

Matthew 28:20b - “And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Here’s a bit of good news: We don’t know how long these 2 guys walked along before Jesus walked up but we know this, He did. And while Jesus was not immediately apparent for these 2 men to see, Jesus knew what these 2 guys needed, which was to be encouraged, educated a little, walked with, talked with and brought into a relationship. Jesus did all of this in just a few hours of walking.

Look, you and I are the 2 guys walking along the road. There are going to be times when bad things happen and we lose sight of our commission. We will get focused on the immediate and we will be fearful. In fact, we might even lose hope. Our 2 friends in Luke sure did. But here’s the beauty of it all...Jesus comes along and restores our hope. He restores our faith. He takes away our fears.

Isaiah 41:10 - “So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

We are all walking home, each of us on a journey to one day dance with Jesus in heaven, singing the praises of our savior and our God forevermore!

I want all of us to consider this story for another moment. It took these two guys about 5 hours to walk to Emmaus. They were probably not in an exceptional hurry and walked as you and I might walk if were out for a hike. Now imagine you get to where you’re headed while being encouraged and educated along the way, by Jesus. Your eyes are opened to who He is. You go from being terribly depressed and edgy to enthralled and captivated and then finally you are full blown excited, ready to burst out of your own skin...what do you do?

You run back to tell the rest of your friends about what you have just seen and heard. I’m going to hazard a guess here but I think it took these 2 guys about an hour and a half to two hours to get back to Jerusalem!! They may have been motivated! But their hope had been renewed. They realized that Jesus was with them. They weren’t alone.

Joshua 1:9 - “Be strong. Be brave. Be fearless. You are never alone.”

2 guys, walking home...they were never alone.

We are not alone, even when we might think we are. Our God has promised us that He will always be with us. As we move towards a time of response, you may find yourself feeling as if you are walking this road alone. With every head bowed and every eye closed, as the worship team comes forward, if you are feeling like God is no where near you and everything good in your life has suddenly vanished; If you feel fearful, scared about what’s going to happen next and you don’t know what to do; If you felt that God was close to you but now you don’t know where He is in your life; come and find an altar. There, be renewed by the presence of a living God. Our prayer team will come and pray with you. Let us respond.

The art of marriage

We live in a world of convenience, more now than ever before. Nearly everything can be had with minimal to no effort, which has only spoiled mankind in such a way that we don't even try anymore. Consider this... you can get gas, get coffee, pick up your prescription, grab a movie, grab dinner, get your oil changed and your car washed, all without getting out of your car! What does this mean? It means that we have separated ourselves from each other and have sought conveniences for the sake of so called self-preservation.

In a nutshell, we're lazy.

When it comes to relationships, our laziness is even more pronounced. The reason we seek conveniences is supposedly based on being more efficient with our time but it has turned into a way to get what we want, when we want it, with minimal effort on our part. How many times have you watched the marriage of someone you know fall apart? Maybe a few times? We often hear the stories of fall-out from infidelity, abuse, addiction, etc. But we never get clear answers on what led to the fall-out. We speculate, but truthfully people don't sit down and lay out the events that led to the demise of a relationship. Instead, they pick up pieces, pluck out chunks of shrapnel and move on, often times while lobbing verbal grenades for years to come. So what happened?

To be sure, we're needy.

We all like a little affirmation from time to time. Some of us might need it a little more than others but it doesn't change the fact that we all want to know how we're doing from time to time. That's not what I'm talking about. It really comes down to feelings. At our core, we want to feel good. This can be feeling loved and appreciated, feeling victorious and confident, feeling accomplished and successful, feeling wanted and desired, feeling significant and necessary, feeling useful and helpful and feeling honored and respected. These are legitimate feelings that each of us has periodically throughout each day. There is nothing wrong with any of them, until we reach a point where we can no longer function unless our needs are being met. This is where we get to the art of marriage, because trust me, it's an art, among other things. And in determining our needs, we recognize that we might not function very well if our needs aren't met regularly. Frankly, that truism is not pretty.

I'm not going to lie, we're greedy.

When we meet someone special who makes us feel all those wonderful feelings I mentioned above (and more), we stop at nothing to love on and dote on that other person. What's interesting is that a relationship starts with our own needs being met, which in turn makes us want to take care of (meet the needs of) someone else. This is good. In fact, this is AWESOME! But let's back up a second. We're needy, remember? It doesn't take long for our innate needs to creep back to the surface and before long, we go in search of the meeting of our own needs, especially when they are no longer being met by our significant other. We get greedy. We start seeking ways to please ourselves because we no longer find contentment in our mate. And maybe there was something missing from the beginning... have we considered that? Maybe we're a little more messed up than we would like to admit.

The truth is, we're broken.
(To be continued)

On ethics

Let me provide a definition for ethics before we go any further. "Ethics is a disciplined reflection on the formation of a healthy character and its relationship to virtuous action." (from Living Ethical Lives - lesson 1 - NW Nazarene University COS)

Let's break this down. Firstly, ethics is a disciplined reflection. This tells me I need to be reflective on a consistent basis, suggesting there are routine moments in my day to be reflective about my life, faith, or perspective. As I think about the idea of such reflection, I wonder what the goal would be. In short order, it becomes clear that we are to "be of the mind of Christ" on a daily basis, if not a moment by moment one.

That idea alone helped me to understand why such reflection might be difficult. How many of us work full time? Do we have the opportunities to reflect on the nature of God in the middle of our shift? How is it that we go from saying yes to Jesus, admitting we need Him in our lives, to having a disciplined reflection where all our thoughts are on Christ?

Further examining our definition of ethics, I see that our reflection is on the formation of a healthy character. So it is that as we dwell on the mind of Christ, our very character should change and in fact, it should be "transformed by the renewing of our minds." Therefore, I am regularly thinking about Jesus and as I do so, my character changes, that is to say my words, thoughts and my demeanor.

To me, those around us should begin to see a difference as we think less about the things of this world and begin to think more about the things of eternity. Who we are is going to change, right in front of those who know us best.

Lastly, it is our character that becomes related to our behavior. A healthy character is related to virtuous actions. If I am thinking about Jesus all day and my character changes because of those thoughts, my actions are going to change as well. The idea here is that if I dwell on Christ, I will begin to think like Christ and then in turn I will act like Christ. It all sounds so simple!

It starts with a disciplined reflection. Actually, it starts with allowing the Holy Spirit to begin a work in us that we are not capable of on our own. From there, understanding ethics and its definition seems approachable. The troubles come when we let the distractions of this world sidetrack us from the work that God has called us to do. Soon, being reflective becomes a spotty affair, where we rarely take the time to reflect on the healthy character of Christ as it should be evidenced in our own lives.

Part of the word disciplined is disciple. For us to be disciplined, we have to find ourselves at the feet of Jesus as we learn to follow Him. It may take a few years to learn the shepherd's voice, but when we do, we will not get lost as easily as we did when we were younger. But I think we also have to remember not to purposely pull ourselves away from the flock either.

I have often wondered about the methodology of monasticism for such aims, only to step back and realize that we were meant to live in concert with each other. Our 21st century lives do not allow for much disciplined reflection and it will take a monumental effort to get people to buy into such an idea. But oh how our lives would truly change if we were willing to fully follow Him, dwell on Him and become like Him. Our ethics would be His ethics.

The Journey - chapter 1

The Journey - From Secular to Spiritual
Chapter 1

With each step taken, the journey changes. There are moments of clarity and moments of deep fog. For whatever reason, I imagined this journey would be much easier than it has been. While I certainly accept there will be trials in all aspects of life, I see now that I had an irrational and illogical view of how my transition would go. Such is life.

Each story deserves some level of context and this story is no different, truly. In fact, many of us have similar stories and it is worth pointing out that I cherish the commonalities among us. It is those commonalities we must learn to embrace for the sake of Romans 12:9-21 and the gospel for which we carry, share and live out.

My story that gets me here is not unlike anything you may have heard before. There is brokenness, heartache, depression, addiction, betrayal, abuse. There is love, humor, joy, elation. There is adversity, resilience, pain, triumph. I am by no means some special case but I am here because of the grace of God, the power of a praying mother, the willingness of a friend who shared Jesus and the never-ending conviction of the Holy Spirit who refuses to let me drown in my own doubt.

To say that I grew up in the church would not be a proper statement. I grew up attending a church with my parents who decided they wanted us to be exposed to more of a conservative group of people. They sent us to a small private school that was associated with the church. We didn't make it to church every Sunday but we were mostly regular for about 5 years. As I neared adolescence I found myself very busy with sports and singing, two things I adored. While pursuing these two passions, I had little time for anything else, including church. I had very little connection there and struggled to grasp the necessity of it. I found God to be very unapproachable and cold. To be honest, I began to doubt if He cared very much about me personally.

As I found a voice I also found the boldness to rebel against the church and the people within it. I had begun to discover my own intellect and with that discovery I began to look down on anyone else around me that seemed unwilling to rise up and use the brains within their heads. To be honest, I quickly became very condescending to nearly everyone around me. This resulted in short-term friendships, alienation of my immediate family and a daily struggle to interact with nearly anyone around me. In short, I stopped listening to everyone except myself.

This behavior lasted for more than 15 years. Relationships became disposable and I was OK with that. I burned through college friends, a marriage, two brothers, a sister, in-laws and countless people along the way. At 28 I needed a restart, I just didn't know how it was possible.

The journey from secular to spiritual must recognize what each of us has not only come out of, but more importantly what we continue through each day. The world is all around us, it's not going anywhere. We must learn to live in it while seeking to be changed by the world we belong to and not the one we're in. That last sentence is profound. I fought to not only live in this world but to change it in spite of its nature and my own. The reality is that this world is not changed by us, it is changed through us by the power of God. Therefore, what God does to us, for us and through us is nothing short of a complete life makeover. I began to recognize my own need for a new life. The only trouble was, at age 28 I was still listening to the world.

Over the following 5 years I got married, bought a house, had a kid, adopted another kid, bought a house. Sold the first house and bought another house. And got invited to church. Everything except for that last part was how I saw my life going. I began to see success by what I could change in my own world and therefore, on a greater level, the change I could have on my sphere of influence within the world around me. Without any sort of a big picture mindset I wandered in search of the next challenge. I searched my sphere of influence and beyond, hoping to find what I needed, which was a crutch for my pride and lack of humility. It was in those moments that a co-worker invited me to an open-gym night at his church. I saw another challenge, so I went.

At this point, the mind would tell us that it is a foregone conclusion regarding my life from that point forward. But let me interrupt that assumption with a few observations, especially regarding the mindset of so many people who are wandering around aimlessly looking for the world to meet their challenge for fulfillment. The first thing is to recognize that even though I said yes to attending an open-gym night, I walked into that place with my athletic ego in high gear. I walked in there to prove a point, which was that I was superior. Before long, everyone there knew who I was and that I came to play hard. I am sure I turned more than just a few people off to my behavior. As I look back, I wonder how many observed my actions and thought to themselves that I was merely one example of a soul who needed to be surrounded by Godly, humble people who could look past my prideful arrogance and see someone who needed Jesus. More aptly, I wonder how many people saw me as a soul who was lost to the world, consumed by the secular.

The second thing to recognize is that I walked into that gym with a lot of baggage, including an addiction to alcohol and an ego the size of Oregon. I remember making friends with a couple of guys but I also remember that most of the people there didn't talk to me much. As time went on, not only did that not change, but it got worse. My baggage was beginning to show and unfortunantely, I had no idea. I think that there is a common misconception that exists among those who have been raised in the church, which is that if we can just get sinners to come to church, they will walk through the doors and be magically fixed. The truth is it never works that way. However, let me be clear here, because I don't want to take away from the power of the Holy Spirit to change a life, but this world exists and it is not going anywhere, regardless of how much we might fight against it. When a person is consumed by the world and all of its flaws, it is much like being wrapped in a separate layer of skin. It's not so easy to just peel it off, it takes some work. More than that, it takes the assistance of God's people to love in spite of the skin of the world that a lot of us have before coming to know Christ. I would love to tell you that there are thousands of people who walk into a church, hear the word of God, learn about the love of Jesus and then shed that old skin right then and there, but I would be lying to you if I said that. But let me explain.

The journey from secular to spiritual starts with a choice to take the first step. From there, the road that you are on may still be a somewhat familiar one, marked with people and trappings of this world, such as friends, family, job situation, living situation, finances, addictions, habits, behaviors, character traits, etc. People do not simply walk into church and walk away from everything in their lives just like that. Are you still tracking with me? This is the state of the journey and it is wise for us to recognize how hard it is to simply drop everything and follow Jesus. For the vast majority of us, we walk in to church with chains holding us back and we walk back out carrying many of the same chains we walked in with. This is sad but it is something we must address or we are going to fail our brothers and sisters who need to know that a changed life is what God desires, even if it takes you awhile to change.

The disciples were asked to follow Jesus and they dropped their nets and left everything behind (Luke 5). The suggestion in these passages is that the disciples didn't go through a process, they simply heard the words of Jesus, saw His power (the miracle in Luke 5) and chose to follow. However, this same group of disciples struggled at many times to trust Jesus, to believe in His ministry, to listen to His commands, to believe they were capable of doing similar feats and to be bold for Jesus as He had instructed them to do. It would take these disciples the better part of 3 years to be able to stand on their own and even then, we see issues in Acts. And this brings us to a further understanding of our journey. It took the disciples more than 3 years to journey from the secular to the spiritual and they had Jesus in the flesh to learn from. We are fortunate to have His ministry in printed form along with the insight of thousands of others who have come before us.

As I contemplate the process known as entire sanctification, I realize that a changed life for Christ is indeed a very special thing but I am also realizing that it is not an instantaneous thing. Why is that so hard to fathom? Because in America we want everything right now. We live in an age of convenience and instant gratification. The unfortunate downside to this perspective is in our spiritual walk and growth in Christ. Our flesh is tethered to a world that would prefer to rip it off. We must recognize the words of Paul that we need to condition ourselves for the marathon of life, preparing our minds and bodies to go the distance. Training ourselves as a champion athlete would, who works tirelessly day in and day out in order to be the best he or she can be. This means that we are daily in the word, daily in prayer, daily in meditation, daily in concert with other Christ followers, etc. Our journeys must get us to this point. The trouble is that most people do not find the destination to be all that palpable.

To that end, this is the juxtaposition of my transition from secular to spiritual. One one hand, I see value in keeping an eye and an ear to the road of my secular life. There are many people there who I wish to speak to and I don't want to lose sight of them. On the other hand, the spiritual life is what God has called me (and all of us) to. Jesus said that we are not of this world, and I get that, but I'm here none the less. And because I'm here and because I am in the process of coming out of complete saturation of the secular, I feel as if I am dripping dirty parts of me in the areas of the spiritual. On one hand, the secular life seems much easier to live right now. On the other hand, the spiritual life offers blessings now and rewards for eternity. And even though I know how shortsighted the secular viewpoint is, I still struggle with it.

I have never considered myself to be dense. I say that because as I look back over the last 13 years, I see a man who has fought very hard against the journey. There have been ebbs and flows, ups and downs, highs and lows. I have felt very close to God and very far away. At times I have been certain I was on the right path and other times when I felt that I just needed to walk away from it all because it would be so much easier. "In this life you will have troubles....but take heart!" Each day I try and remind myself of the words of Jesus in John 16, knowing that I cannot for one moment depend on my own abilities to navigate these waters. And yet I question why this journey has taken me this long. Shouldn't I be further along by now? Were there any disciples like this? How long did it take Thomas? Did he immediately launch into full blown missionary mode after he put his fingers in the wounds of Jesus? Oh ye of little faith!!

Prayer:
Oh Lord, complete this transition for me, as I am simply too incapable of doing this without your help. Guide me past my uncertainty and foolishness that is masked as cautious wisdom. Instead, grant me your wisdom to see the joy in the journey, regardless of the road I am on. Help me to reach out to others who are also on this same road, who feel lost and defeated, who don't think they're good enough to serve you... because I'm certainly not good enough to serve you and yet you love me anyway. Every gap I leave, you fill. Every deficiency of mine that is discovered you cover. Your grace is all I need. Your power is made perfect even in my weakness. For when I am weak, then I am strong. Thank you Lord for all you are. Amen.

Ruts

What is it that sets me apart? As a holy people, aren’t we all called to be set apart? Isn’t that what the definition of holy is? To be certain, holiness is indeed to be set apart, but just as importantly, if not more so, is why we are set apart. The reason is so we can be His people, so we can follow Him and all His ways, so we can lead others to His saving grace and so we can be “marked by our maker” as His children. We know what being set apart means and we know why. 

But here’s another thought provoking question...what are we set apart from?

If we are not set apart, we are not, therefore, a holy people. This would mean we were unholy. Another way to say unholy is "worldly." This is not to define worldly as knowledgeable of the world, but instead to define it as being of the world, being known for being apart of it. If my goal as a Christ follower is to be set apart for His purposes and plans, I must pull myself away from being worldly, but that’s much harder than it looks.

Some Christians maintain that they must remove the presence of all worldly influences from their lives in order to be set apart but that doesn’t jive with scripture. Others think it comes down to having only Christian friends and not associating with those outside the church, but that isn’t scriptural either. Knowing this means accepting the difficulty of such a challenge while accepting it is nearly impossible. In fact, it is wholly impossible on your own. Only daily connection with The Spirit of God will allow one to truly be set apart from this world in the way we are called to be.

As we unravel what it means and looks like to be set apart, we must address our daily lives moment by moment and evaluate where we are at each step of the way. For some, pulling away from the world to be set apart for His purposes is more than just daunting. We all tend to get into routines and living in this world is kind of like driving in really deep ruts on the highway. Sometimes, it’s hard to get out.

As I examine my life through the last 15 years or so, I see a trend of shifting away from this world and what it has to offer in order to embrace something much bigger than myself. There have been (and continue to be) some heady challenges along the way and yet God has been faithful all along. Yet, here I sit concerned about the next few years in my life, fearful of transitions from what feels like one life to another. Instead of simply granting full control to Jesus for these next phases, I tend to cling tightly to the wheel for fear of crashing into the ditch as I attempt to jump out of a few ruts.

Oddly, I think we are the only ones who see the ruts. I think God just sees opportunities to show us how good of a driver He is, if we would just let Him steer.

Millennial thought - part 1

Some thoughts regarding millennials…

New World Order

Here not too long ago, I had a conversation with a friend where we discussed an interesting phenomenon. To most, this is not a pressing issue and to be fair, it might be remedied in a way that I have yet to think of, but I found this to be fascinating enough that I chose to write it down. The main subjects here are millennials and the main issue (or point of discussion) is the order of data, specifically looking at how the younger generation(s) are processing data, the order(s) used and the integration by Millennials into the workforce with Gen X’ers and Baby Boomers.

Millennials are, by definition, those born between 1982 and 2004, roughly. There is speculation as to the exact years but these are the most commonly held. Millennials were so named because they began to associate their lives with the coming millennial year (2000) and the first members of the generation would have graduated high school in 2000.

Millennials are the first generation to grow up with technology in the home at all times and as a result, they are typically always attached to some form of device. Because of the use of electronics and more importantly, the internet, Millennials have reshaped how we as a society search for, order and keep data. In prior generations, different forms of data collection and storage have been used, such as encyclopedias, phone books and dictionaries. All of these items could easily be found in the home of a Baby Boomer or even a member of Generation X for a while. However, encyclopedias and dictionaries are mainly only found in libraries and phone books are nearly obsolete. The reason this is important is in how we access data and how we use the means of that storage. For instance, phone books are full of valuable information regarding individuals, businesses and government entities, as well as scores of general information about the community. Nearly all of that data can now be found on search engines on the internet, such as Google.

Here is the issue, however. The information on Google is listed based on your search criteria, which is based on relevance. Another way to say it is, a search is made based on your input, and the output is formulated based on the closest match, or matches, to your input. There is no alphabetical order, no numerical order, no empirical order, nothing. This tends to throw most Baby Boomers off, at first, but eventually, through trial and error, most people learn to use search engines in the way they were designed. The struggle for Boomers is in the lack of alphabetical, or even numerical order, within the search engines. Once someone has clicked on a website, the site is most likely designed with some sort of order. Rarely do you find websites that are designed in a random way, simply due to the fact that our current society depends on the intrinsic nature of the aforementioned order. In my opinion, that society is changing.

Looking back to the days of phone books, we find distinct order throughout. Everything is in alphabetic and numeric order. Given that the search engine was a human being looking up information from within, and not a computer using an algorithm, placing the data in an order, as such, not only spoke to the earliest of intrinsic methods, but allowed for the easiest of data collection/data display. All because the data was being provided by humans, for humans, to look up and use. The history of data collection and organization of data speaks to this order and while it might seem impossible to change the nature of such an order, Millennials are not only moving into the workforce daily, but are rewriting the ways we collect, manage, store, share and express data. 

If you need an example of how this is changing, a bit of proof perhaps, grab your smart phone and observe your contacts. In what order are they placed? If you own an Android (Google based) phone, the majority of users have their contacts organized by first name. This means that the interface behind the data collection for your contacts does not force an order, but is instead left to the user at the time of input. We, as users, have the choice as to how to list and input our contacts. This has not always been the case with mobile phone technology. Anyone who has used an older cell phone knows that the data was collected and placed in alphabetical order, based on last name first. The order was therefore forced and not left to the user input. This shift is in large part due to the influence of Millennials upon our technology and has mostly gone unnoticed. Generation X users have almost unanimously adopted this shift. Only those Boomers who tend to be more analytical in thought have fought this change, but the change has happened regardless.

Stay tuned for more thoughts on Millennials. My next exposition will be on the use of the PC and how it is drastically changing in the hands of the next generation.