soccer dad

We have all heard the term ‘soccer mom’ but when was the last time you heard someone refer to himself as a soccer dad? You might think this is some new age terminology but the truth is that dads have long been attending soccer matches for their kids but it is often the mom who, being a stay at home mother, totes the kids to matches along with their friends and then hangs out with other like minded mothers.

There is nothing wrong with this picture, that of a soccer mom, but what does the picture say regarding dad? For years we have established that dads didn’t always make soccer games because of work or other responsibilities (such as golf with buddies), but for the last 15 years that I have been standing on the sideline, mostly as a coach, the signs are clear; dads are at the games.

Adding to participation rates of dads is our current economy, which has seen a rise in women maintaining positions in the work place while men lose their jobs or they work part time. This of course frees up men to take more of an active role in things like soccer games, but even with that, when was the last time you heard a guy declare himself a soccer dad?

So let me openly use the term for all to hear (and read); I am a soccer dad. I for one am grateful for the opportunities I get to spend with my kids, and being out there for them as they play sports is a real joy. I watch them work hard to impress me when they know that I am watching and I get a kick out of seeing them interact with other kids that are doing the exact same thing. Watching all of this play out seems so natural to me but I remind myself that it has not always been this way.

Thinking back to my playing days as a young boy, I remember my dad being there occasionally but I also remember feeling like he was out of place. There were always dads at the games but something feels different about then versus now. Possibly it is my involvement in the game (I coach, oversee the local parks & rec. soccer program and also play), but I wonder what these times say about soccer dads today as opposed to 35 years ago?

If you asked either of my kids what their dad does for work, they might slip up and say, “he’s a soccer coach”, or “he coaches other soccer coaches”. And while I do have a job that pays me, the truth is that a large portion of my life is taken up by soccer, so the term “soccer dad” fits. But that term is of greater significance to me when I remember that I am a dad first and soccer comes second. Watching my kids tear after the ball is a joyous thing and I relish those moments, even when they get down on themselves for not being as good as they think they should be.

For those of us that have embarked on this privileged journey of fatherhood, we know that there are moments of brilliance followed by trials of uncertainty, both on the part of our kids and ourselves. Whether your sport is soccer or your place of involvement is the science lab (science dad?), we have such an awesome responsibility to be a part of the lives of our kids. To me, being a dad is sharing with my kids all of the experiences that have shaped me from childhood, while also sharing the unique lives of my kids as they share with me.

Being a soccer dad is just one way that I am privileged as a father. Watching as one of my kids scores a goal and then turns to celebrate with both hands in the air, the greatest moment for me comes from seeing them revel in their own accomplishment, then looking at me with that infamous face that screams, “did you see that dad?”

Yea, I’m a soccer dad.

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My life is not mine, and yet it is mine to live for Him. 
Peace to you all.

D

hope and love

I don't know if I am disgusted or pissed off or maybe just confused, but whatever it is I need a break from it soon. Maybe I think too much, or maybe I care too much, or maybe I've completely lost the last marble that was playing wall ball in my head. Regardless, I am in thought regarding the state of our world, specifically as it relates to the community. I think of it globally but it has to start locally so we should start this chat there.

I am constantly at battle with the idea that we are capable of so much more but only able to see to the end of our own noses. As we passed Valentine's Day, I was struck with the notion that there is some love out there but it seems to be isolated and spotty at best. I certainly want to believe we are capable of more but certain signs continue to point to a contradiction. So much of our concept of love seems to be wrapped up in who we are that we often forget what everyone else thinks. Does that seem impossible to fathom? Probably not, but I would suggest that we have not truly thought it through all the way.

I am of the belief that love is very deliberate and that falling into it is not really possible. I heard someone suggest a similar view today and it occurred to me how I feel about the topic. I could tear off into the definitions of love but instead, let me say this; we are all capable of love on some level. The real question is when are we going to show it? This world seems like a big game of poker and instead of showing our hands we keep bluffing and upping the ante. The real problem here is there are a lot of people playing this game and trust me when I say, the stakes are high, and there are going to be a lot of losers if we keep going like this.

Currently there is a division in this world that is thick enough to touch and it is getting worse. Opinions are flying in the face of facts and going unchecked. In the midst of this, love is being trampled like a city slicker in Pamplona and everyone seems to be cheering. Even those who claim to be in agreement with each other have abandoned love and seem to be clinging to appeasement. There is no community and certainly no love in too many of the public venues that we witness today.

Enter hope on the scene. While it is scarce and sometimes very quiet it is most certainly in the house. What we know of hope is it's like a 3 hour car ride in a booster seat knowing there's ice cream waiting at the other end. My son will tell you that Hope is his cousin but even he knows that hope is also the start of baseball season, sunshine filled days that are warm enough to wear shorts and trips to the beach.

I can't say enough about some of the cool people I continue to meet who regularly give me hope that there is more out there than just this stale fear of death. I have hope of so many things but it is life that fills me most. I live each day not as if it's my last but instead as a chance to be a positive force in spite of all that is against hope. My community needs it and yours does too; we need hope and love, not accomplishment and entitlement. 

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My life is not mine, and yet it is mine to live for Him. Peace to you all.

D

settling foundations

Like any new house, I expect the one I am in to go through its settling process, to creak and moan and shift. I have watched the subtle changes take place with curiosity and noted them in some deep recess of my brain, in case something more comes of them. Ultimately I am not too concerned, as I know how much rock this house is sitting on.

You see, out here where I live, all houses are sitting on a bed of rock that requires a contractor to spend the better part of a day or two hammering into, prior to leveling the property and then setting forms for a foundation. Our home is not unlike any out here in that regards and the rock crusher spent no less than 10 hours to get the land to a place where a foundation could be poured. While there have been subtle cracks in the drywall, mostly this house has remained quite constant and the settling process that all homes go through has been minimal at best.

Not all homes are the same however and much can be said about the prep work that takes place prior to pouring a foundation. I have seen dramatic changes to houses that have poorly poured foundations or poorly prepared building lots. Proper preparation is obviously the key and it is important to recognize that everything we do requires some level of prep work prior to our intended action. For example, think of the steps you take prior to actually getting into bed, or the steps you take prior to actually driving down the street, or going on a picnic, or making dinner and so on.

Having foresight is also key. We must also recognize the foreseeable consequences and negative outcomes of not properly preparing for events and actions we take. If in our preparation we fail to see outcomes, I truly believe that the failure is our responsibility and we alone deserve the consequences. I do believe there are exceptions but as a rule, poor prep work leads to poor outcomes. This should seem rather obvious but it is clearly an issue as some people do not accept responsibility for their actions.

What are we teaching the next generation in regards to fiscal, emotional, physical and even spiritual responsibility when we lay waste to poorly poured foundations in our lives and then disavow ourselves from the messes we make? We make fun of and blast politicians and celebrities for their indiscretions but how much better are we? We blame local, state and federal programs for wasting money and over taxing citizens but we spend money we don't have because we somehow feel entitled to it? At what point are we going to wake up and recognize that the responsibility rests firmly on our shoulders and not someone else's?

Many of you know that I am a Christian. For those of you that did not know that, welcome to the party. As I travel this road I am on through life I continue to see reasons why my faith is so vital but I know that not everyone feels the same way. I view my faith as a foundation and that all things I encounter in life are simply another part of the house I am building on that foundation. From time to time, parts of the house break off or need to be fixed but the foundation is intact and seemingly impervious to anything this life throws at it. I am thankful for that foundation and know that if everything else fades away, I will still have that solid foundation to stand on and that gives me immeasurable hope.

For those of you that do not have that kind of faith, or you believe in something all together different, I pray that the foundation you stand on is rock solid and prepared for settling. I also pray that you recognize your responsibility to coming generations and accept the consequences for the decisions you make as you build your house. Lastly, I pray that as I am out here building my house, I can help you build yours and vice versa.

My life is not mine, and yet it is mine to live for Him. Peace to you all.

D

day by day

So here I sit, two months into being officially unemployed from full time work. For the record, I have enjoyed these last two months as I have had a little more time each day with my kids, especially on Fridays where I now volunteer at a church that they go to for their choice Friday program. For those of you unaware of "Choice Friday", it is something that local businesses and organizations have done for kids because our district went down to 4 day school weeks because of cutbacks.

A short run down on what the last two months have been like, looks like this; started collecting unemployment benefits for the first time in my life, continued my part time job for parks & rec, found a few other part time opportunities that have been rewarding (like crawling around under a 40 year old house with 6 inches to spare) and of course chasing nearly any and every job that moves. I continue my job search and have a few good prospects that I consider hopeful.

All in all, the past two months have been decent, but my thinking cap has been on the entire time and I find myself diving deeper into given subjects like never before. Such voracity for learning has always been a trait but this seems different. I find that once I discover a given topic of interest, it is not enough to read just one page and call it good, I have to pour over a 100 pages to feel quenched.

Take for instance my fascination lately with the Middle East. I am trying to narrow down my interest to Israel for a few reasons, but primarily given the constant state of unrest that takes place over there and seems to be acceptable to most of the world. I fear that the unrest in that region has been going on for so long that most people take it for granted and are completely desensitized to any of the ongoing conflicts there.

One such issue is over the ownership of a region known as Golan Heights. This is a section of land whose sovereignty is hotly contested. Currently the land is controlled by Israel but Syria wants control as soon as possible. Syria is in a world of hurt regarding lack of water in certain parts of that country and the leaders there see Golan Heights as a gateway to access the Sea of Galilee for water to their hardest hit regions in the east. Needless to say, I like to read about these things and with that comes some sense of learning about a different culture than mine, a different part of the world filled with people that I will probably never meet.

Another item of interest recently was a report I read detailing how a study was done regarding young Egyptian men. The study included some 15,000 men and women, all between the ages of 18 and 29, who were asked if young men had a right to beat their wives if the wife was caught talking to another man. 80% of men and 67% of women thought it was OK to beat the wife for talking to another man, while another 8% thought it was OK to beat the wife if she burned food. I find these articles interesting and once I find something like this I have to get to its very source and read more. For the sake of understanding, how can we come to terms with anyone group of people if we have no understanding of their values?

Here in America, I find that most people lack a basic understanding of what any one person goes through in another country. We here of the major stories by way of the TV news and the Internet, but what do we truly know of any one person in any other country, specifically as it relates to culture and a broader understanding of person hood?

I have written about peace (and to some degree, war) for the better part of the past 10 years and my grasp has always been on the atrocities I deem that stem from greed and the desire for absolute power. I have always said that we need to reach out to others in any place they may be and seek relationship with them, for our lives are meant to serve no greater purpose than to be in fellowship with others. My faith has been at the forefront of this belief for almost as long but more than anything else I see a need for diplomacy on a level that no one wants to talk about, and that is the one on one experience.

Being without a job for the past two months has allowed me to think a little more clearly, but something more profound is coming out of this and that is the understanding that I wish I were more connected than I think I am now. Connectivity is essential in this day and age but the question of who we are connected to is more apt. As I read more about places like the Middle East and its inhabitants I am compelled to somehow meet them. I have researched web sites that would allow me to converse with individuals over there on a regular basis but something changes in a relationship when it is not face to face.

Each one of us has something unique to share with the world. I can only hope and pray that I can share something of worth before my time is up. But there is a choice of whether or not to share. We all have choices regarding our involvement and whether or not we will seek relationships that are outside of typical comfort zones. As open as I am to talk about anything I am also susceptible to closing down relationships based on certain content. It has been difficult to walk away from a few relationships over this past year but if there is one thing I will not be a part of, it is hatred. Our lives were never intended to shelter so much vehement hate towards another human being and yet we allow ourselves to fall victim too often.

I will continue to dig deeply into subjects and places that fascinate me but more importantly I hope to somehow connect with some of the people that I read about, the ordinary citizens like you and me, and seek a relation that goes beyond stereotypes and misgivings. There are real men and women out there across the globe that go through the same things as you and I but there are also so many more that never raise a voice. And some voices are silenced.

Please do not be silent as you move forward, but also understand that people just want to talk, to be heard and to share their life. As I go day by day into the future I pray for encounters that will grant me the chance to share and allow others to share, to connect and to grow.

My life is not mine, and yet it is mine to live for Him.


Peace to you all.

D

accept

To seek peace is to constantly and deliberately seek to fulfill the will of others. You cannot live a life that is self centered and truly seek peace; you will find only narcissism and empty spaces. This life has the potential for great things and the simplicity of it all is what gives me hope.


Common goals and interests are pivotal to the search for harmony but it is when we actually share with others as we find value in the lives around us that we begin to see harmony. Valuing others is a key but before we can do that we must discover the value in ourselves. We have it on good authority that we are loved and that we are valuable. Matthew 6:28-30 and Matthew 10:29-31 are good places to start.

Understanding value becomes critical. In math, a value is essentially a number. Zero is a number which carries a value of zero, one carries a value of one and so on. As humans we understand value differently and when we look at something we usually assign it a value greater than zero, because let’s face it, if it was truly a zero, we would not waste our time.

A life equals a value of one; it is an amount greater than no life. When a life ends, so does its value on earth. However, when we celebrate life, it becomes quite valuable to all of us. If life is valuable it is because we choose to make it that way. God chose to give life value. We have that choice today when we choose to value a life through encouragement and growth by way of accepting someone for who they are, and promoting their life in what they add to ours.

Valuing a life simply means assigning worth to any life. Is life really that precious? Let’s consider this from God’s point of view. Here is your quote for the day…

The apple came from the tree of life and it brought death to all that followed. Jesus was placed on a tree of death and brings life to all that follow. (Yes, I wrote that, at the prompting of the Holy Spirit).

In the beginning, God made man and woman and he gave them a breath of life that he did not give to all the other animals on the planet. He gave man a soul and a reason and a will. It wasn’t too long after creation that man made the epic failure of eating from the tree of life and evoking God’s wrath upon all mankind. For thousands of years man had to have struggled with that understanding of failure from his earliest ancestor. But man had hope of a savior.

Then God sent His son. (I have wondered about the span of time between creation and the fall and if it matches that of Jesus’ life from birth to crucifixion. Not that the span of time is critical but other similarities seem significant to me so maybe there are more that I don’t see.) The correlation between the apple being plucked from the tree in an act of defiance to God’s will and plan for His creation, and the crucifixion of Christ on the tree at Calvary is palpable. In God’s salvation plan, He gave His people something that was so much more valuable than that apple and yet they rejected it.

Adam took something from a tree that God had commanded he not touch. The consequences were banishment from the garden, the loss of immortality and a lifetime of pain and hard work that appeared to have no hope. After being banished from the garden, what hope of eternal life did Adam and Eve have? The gloom of that day created a dark cloud over humanity that lasted for thousands of years.

God never commanded His people not to eat of the tree of death; instead He created an antithesis to His tree of life by sacrificing His only son on a tree. During the last Passover meal, Jesus Himself said to take of this bread as if it were His flesh, and to drink of this wine, as if it were His blood. Jesus represented mankind’s second apple, our second chance to get it right.

In Christ we have been given a second chance at the garden. We have been freely given a chance to re-enter a life with God that was only possible if we obeyed God’s commands. Our apple is before us, it is Jesus. The value that God has placed on us is measureable by looking at what He gave us.

One life that is so precious that it provides value and worth to all that accept it. Jesus is that one life, and all we have to do is accept Him.

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My life is not mine, and yet it is mine to live for Him. Peace to you all.

D