to believe again

"I lift my hands to believe again". This is a line from a really good song by Chris Tomlin. The song stirs many things in me; it pounds the message home with the tribal drum beat in the building bridge towards the end of the song. It lifts me up and makes me want to literally fly for Him, lifting myself up. But at the same time I am prompted to fly I remember the first lines that tell me to "be still". This is not inherently easy for me....I'm kind of a busy body after all. The song carries me up and down and back up again, all in the span of just a few minutes. I love songs like this one.

But it's that lead in line to the chorus that really has me thinking about my faith lately. It's more than just lifting my hands in worship when I feel lead or prompted, it's more than this desire to openly acknowledge His power in my life, it is simply an act that forces every part of me to focus on Him solely, letting go of who I am and who I pretend to be and just face Him, with my arms held high. That single act is almost like starting over fresh. That action inspires my heart to listen closer, breathe deeper and truly focus on what He has to say.

It's kind of like a reset button for my faith. In the midst of my week, my day, my momentary chaotic lifestyle (you have no idea), I simply need to remember "let faith arise". It's not that I lose faith but let's be honest, we all need a little pick me up now and again. Even our faith needs to be refreshed and sharpened and renewed from time to time, especially as we face trials. Discovering those little reset buttons are important so we can stay sharp.

Today I needed to hear this. Today I needed a reset. He is my refuge and my strength, regardless of how I think I can stand on my own. Today I lifted my hands. Today I believed again.

always seeking

It seems as if I have been asking for God's clarity for quite some time now. It's possible that I am simply too obtuse to recognize it in my life, or possibly it has yet to surface. Either way, the clarity I seem to be expecting is somehow different than what I know and see in my life at the moment.

Clarity is simply the ability to see things clearly; nothing more, nothing less. I do not attempt to paint something that needs washing instead, but for some reason I have been searching for a view point, or maybe a visible direction to surface in my life for a long time now. I'm not wandering but I am seeking.

A little over 10 years ago I found God. More importantly, I found Jesus. Probably more aptly, He found me. I remain thankful for that day but nearly to that day I have asked for clarity. My thought has always been the same and that is I would like God to point me in the direction He wants me to go. I've always been good at taking direction and doing amazing things with it. I am happy to lead as well and continue to shine as a leader in a multitude of avenues in my life but in this one case, I have always been happy to have God lead. So my prayer has always been for God to show me what it is He has for my life; what He wants me to do for Him. It seems easy to ask so I have maintained that request since the day He found me.

There have been times in my life where I felt God leading me and I believe I followed. Those times have been good but for some reason I seem to still be searching for just what it is that God would have me do. I'm hoping that maybe now I've finally found where God wants me and the next 6 months will be key in determining that. Starting in September I will be part of a church plant here in the town I live in. For the last 9 months I believe God has been speaking into my life to concentrate 100% on the town I live in. This is important because as of 2 months ago, I was working in a neighboring town, going to church in that same town and participating in numerous events down there as well. Given our geographic area this is not unique. Indeed, many people who live in the town I live work in the town to the south as well as play and recreate down there too. But God's calling to pull back and find work here was loud and clear. His call to find a church body here was louder still.

With all of these recent changes it would appear I am at last tasting the clarity I have prayed for for so long. God is good, there is no question. When I look at what He has done in my life I am floored. If indeed He has me where He wants me, will I continue to seek? I pray I will always seek Him.

going apolitical

It sounds like AWOL to me but I know it's not, it just sounds that way. In truth however, it feels as if I am leaving something behind that really doesn't want me to go. The political establishment would love to keep me if it could, as I am sure it could use me, or more aptly, abuse me. Politics is a machine no doubt but should be closely akin to a meat grinder. You might look good going in but I guarantee you aren't very pretty afterward.

The entire premise of politics is simply a vessel for getting your way, let that be said, maybe emphatically. While some politicians might suggest there is integrity in politics, I have a hard time believing that to be possible for any man or woman after being exposed to the machine of politics after even just a couple of years. If your profession is to do nothing more than argue, fight for and defend your way of thinking (and the desires of your constituents) you are more than likely going to do just about anything to get your point across. Ultimately, at the end of the day, you must do anything necessary to get your way, it's why voters elect you.

This naturally sounds harsh but the more you process this, the more it not only makes sense but leads one to ask why anyone would want to be a politician in the first place. I want to believe that a lot of people get into politics for the chance to make a difference for the people, maybe even the world. But power is a funny thing and it affects men and women alike.

Even voters get caught up in the power to affect your point of view. Look no further than Facebook to see how we share our opinions based on our affiliations. I have witnessed the gamut from absolute ignorance to complete command of the process and yet I find that very few people will ever be swayed to one view or the other based on a Facebook post, or a rant on YouTube. Voters are fickle for sure but they want what they perceive as a legitimate and credible source for information (aka news). Realistically, you and I were wired with certain perceptions by our parents. A lot of us carry those perceptions into adulthood and pass them onto our children. There are some of us who have never questioned those perceptions, mainly because they are comfortable, to a certain degree.

Does this seem odd? To me it shows what kind of people we are; a people who do not always question that which is before us. I began questioning everything when I was in my early twenties. It took until my late twenties to start putting a lot of answers to some tough questions. For the next ten years after that I chased a mantle of understanding based on where life had led me. My perceptions were that we the people were not doing enough for we the people. That perception is why I registered as a Democrat as soon as I was legally allowed to do so.

For the last twenty years or so, I had believed that we needed to do more socially for our citizens and I believed that politics was part of my answer for how we got there. The last twelve years have taught me that my faith was the other part. Hand in hand I started to believe that we could change the world if we could only get those with faith to grasp that same social doctrine, that of Jesus Himself.

What I failed to grasp however is that politics was and is never going to work. In understanding the very premise behind politics it became crystal clear that no social service would ever truly be served by a machine that wants nothing more than to get its way and not the way of the people. For me, this comes as an obvious answer now but I was blind to until recently. Convinced that policy could be written to further the advances of human rights I charged on in hopes that one day we might end homelessness in this country. One day we might end poverty here. One day we might even like each other enough not to be racist. Or sexist. Or a bigot.

I have stayed out of many of the lights for good reason. My faith seemed to be holding me back and it seemed easier to just sit back and take notes. Occasionally I found light in commenting where I could but typically it was easier to say I was a social gospel person, cared about my community, loved Jesus....and was a liberal. That last label was the easy part because I have always thought of myself as a liberal. I have not always cared about my community, or the social gospel...or Jesus. That last label was the hard part, because it meant I had to admit that I wasn't getting my way.

Today is a new day. I'm still a liberal in spirit and will give of myself like always but maybe even like never before. I do truly care about my community and will work tirelessly to engage my neighbor, my coworker, the strangers at the store and even those whom I disagree with, in positive ways that bring out the best in each of us. I can't deny the heart of the social gospel for at its core is the essence of the gospel itself, and that is grace; something we must give out. Lastly, I will unabashedly accept Jesus as my savior, but maybe even more importantly, everyone's savior.

Politics won't miss me and I won't miss politics. Getting my way was always so hard anyway.

peace above anger

Anger is understandable, even good for you at times. The Bible tells us that you do well to get angry but not to stay that way.

Persistent and constant anger leads to bitterness which leads to discontent and even malice. A bitter heart is never joyful and never contributes positively to any situation. In fact, bitterness commonly brings other people down around you and leads to defensiveness, especially evident in family dynamics.

So what fuels our anger that can lead to such negative behavior? Ultimately, much can be attributed to not getting our way or not seeing our opinions taken seriously. Every aspect of our lives is affected by what we want or what we think. When something disrupts the flow of our thoughts (which lead to our actions), we become aggravated or angry. In some cases we learn to deal with the disruption by adapting and/or overcoming the adversity.

However, there are other times when we fail to deal with an issue and our anger becomes destructive. What’s worse is when that anger spreads to others through relativity. We associate with others who, like us, are facing challenges that might make them angry. In an odd form of solidarity we find ourselves linked with them as partners who are angry about the same thing(s).

Through discussion of that which angers us, we fuel negativity, not productive thought. Constructive criticism, for instance, only happens when the intent is that of love or a good nature towards another. One of the outcomes of anger, on the other hand, is often harsh criticism, commonly believed to be retaliation. Harsh criticism is never constructive.

It leads us to make a careful observation; anger will always lead to destruction if it is not dealt with. We cannot live a life that is controlled by anger and yet it is what we see evident in today’s culture. The world of politics is so pervasive, for instance and provides us with a microcosm of anger in our world. Rarely does there seem to be anything constructive, rarely are there conversations that seem devoid of anger. The effects are startling as we each experience this one facet within our society that is so filled with angst.

Can we escape from this angry mindset? What are the steps necessary to dealing with and/or avoiding anger in our lives? We must daily commit to seeing people differently than we do now. We must daily commit to thinking before we speak. We absolutely must do more to treat each other with respect. This life is fairly short in respect to all of time and yet we live lives that suggest we are so much more important than we really are. All of us as a whole make something quite grand but individually we are actually quite insignificant. I don’t say that to make anyone feel small because I know the impact that just one small voice can make, but the world does not revolve around any one human.

Think about that one for a moment. No matter how big the star, no matter how great the fame, everyone goes away in the end. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. We are doomed to this earth, each and every one of us, there are no exceptions. And given that clearly stated fact, what makes any one person think they are that much greater than any other person, especially in the grand scheme of things? Don’t we all breathe the same air and bleed the same blood?

Making a change of the mind and heart will take a very willful intent on your part and it won’t happen tomorrow; it will take you some time. All it takes to get started is an intention. An intention to seek peace above anger.

Shooting first

It's been a little while and to be honest, I have been running pretty hard. That excuse seems to work for everyone else, so why not me? The truth is that life is still just that; life. And it never stops, especially with two grade school kids, two jobs, a new found hobby and strong penchant for beer and ice cream.

I do however still get the itch to write and while I have obviously failed to post anything here in the last 4 months, I am still writing things down with the plan to publish them here. Many things have taken space in my mind these past 4 months but my mainstay thoughts continue to revolve around this country's obsession with war. It is remarkable to me that in this day and age of connectivity between us and foreign countries, we still wish to harm our neighbor in such an irreversible way.

There is no plausible excuse for me to consider that would allow me to accept that we must seek to kill those who we are told wish to harm us. We here in America live in the greatest specter of fear that has ever been doled out on a nation's people. We are constantly reminded that the enemy wants nothing more than to extinguish us from the face of the earth and so we live, heavily armed, prepared for such a cataclysmic event. An event that is purported to be possible on our very streets. And it is behind that cloak of fear that our government sends our military off to fight. The idea is that if we are fearful as a people, we will not question the motives of our government as they set about their initiatives.

That last bit is relevant, be assured, but more importantly it is understanding the initiatives of our government that should alarm you. In the midst of the speeches by officials warning you of the enemy, we are painted into a corner of submission. It is not the wish of our elected officials to make peace with all people, but instead to rule them. The leaders of this supposedly great country wish for nothing more than to rule as much, if not all, of this world as possible. Our military is simply acting out this role of empire building across the globe, all for a country that is supposedly blessed by God.

Do any of you know your history? Do you remember when Israel sought the same thing? Do you know of the reign of Solomon? King Solomon's reign looks a lot like the US today. We have so much and yet we want more. We are willing to sacrifice our own people in order to continue our empire building, there is nothing that will stop us....or is there?

What if in this age of connectivity we raise our voices to speak out against the injustices of this country? A lot of people already do speak out and there are several great websites that promote it, but you too can join the voices. This country needs to speak up, but more importantly, those who profess a love of Jesus Christ need to live lives that are exemplary of His life, a life of peace.

Remember, Jesus did not fight back, but instead went willingly to the cross. Americans are so afraid of the cross that they are shooting at everything that moves, based on a theory that unless we shoot first, we will all die at the hands of an enemy we have never met.