Music to your ears

Music is so integral to the well being of my soul that I can’t imagine life without it. There is something special about lyrics laced with instruments that make my skin tingle. It has always been that way for me, always been more than just a song, more than just words on a page. Occasionally an instrumental piece (like Star Wars type) or even an a-cappella tune can send chills down my spine (you’re now humming Death Star music aren’t you?).

Mostly it’s the thoughtful collection of words and notes that tear at the very center of who I am. There must be others who feel the same, because otherwise such amazing music would have never been created. Music can literally move you when you are in tune with what you are hearing and feeling. Music becomes a part of you; it breathes inside of you.

Music is also relative. Everything we go through in this life has found its way into lyrics at some point. Our attachment is usually based on where we are at any given moment. Every emotion known to man can be found on a page of sheet music which is why we attach songs to memories and specific points in time. An example for me would be the song ‘Summer of 69’ by Bryan Adams. That song was a huge hit the summer I turned 16. It had come out just months before and everyone was singing it. I can still remember camping with my family and meeting a girl and holding hands while that song played; those were good times.

On the opposite end of that spectrum, there are certain songs I hear that make my heart heavy for many reasons. Each of us has events in our lives that appear to have a theme song behind them. Instance after instance pops into my head, especially of those tough times when the world seemed to be against me. There was always a song or two that embodied my perspective at that moment. Remember Richard Marx? I’ve tried to sear those songs out of my head too, it’s OK, but that guy knew exactly what I was going through; several times.

Songs can be backdrops for motivation (think Rocky), inspiration (think Chariots of Fire), relaxation (Enya) and reflection (Chopin's Fantasie Impromptu). This is a mere smattering of the range of emotions that music touches and in fact, just a tiny measure of the different genres you will find. Try exploring new music and you will find a plethora of choices you may have never heard of. I for one am not a big country music fan, but I hear that if you play it backwards you get everything you ever lost, back. The heart of rock and roll is still beating, however, so I tend to listen to it a lot.

Take the time to listen to each song you hear, there’s a story to every one. Listen for the emotion and soon you will do more than just hear it, you will feel it.

Must the summer end?

I need more long days where it stays light until ten and it’s warm all day. I need more days where popsicles are the rule and not the exception. I want more days of hanging at the splash park and praying for a gentle breeze from the east as we sit in the grass.

I long for more evenings spent watching baseball games with friends and family and barbeques where we talk for hours. More hikes up Smith Rock and more trail rides out at the Radlands with my kids. More of a lot of things that make our summer what we hope for.

Summer is kind of like every vacation you take where as soon as it’s over you’re already wishing you could have another day, or another week. I suppose the same can be said for nearly any positive experience, but summer is like a 3 month high. Maybe it’s time we extended summer to include parts of May and September, maybe turn the season into four months, or possibly five. Of course, with that philosophy we’ll all be working two days a week and enjoying 5 day weekends before long!

The iconic nature that is summer is found in the hearts and minds of children. It is them who know that each day brings a new chance to play with reckless abandon while having the opportunity to stay up later than usual. That mindset is what makes smiles, and from the moment school lets out my kids are covered in them. Every once in a while I catch a glimpse of what that feels like and poof, I’m a kid again.

As we near another fall and prepare for a new school year I am reminded of the cyclical nature of our lives. The leaves will change, the sweatshirts will be donned, the wind will come and our mindsets will adjust once again. I suppose that it’s good there’s an order because who knows where we would end up if there wasn’t one. But imagine if you could leave the sweatshirt on the shelf for a while longer.

Living in Central Oregon certainly affords us the opportunity to enjoy much more sunshine than our brothers and sisters to the west, but negative eight degrees is still cold, even if the sun is out. Like a “Choose your own adventure” book, I would love the chance to see what a year of summer felt like. A chance to enjoy the warmth that only comes for a couple of months each year.

Maybe it’s time to adjust my mindset to summer and keep it there. I want that feeling of reckless abandon and that perpetual smile that goes along with it and I want it all year long. Like a dog with his head out the window, enjoying the breeze in my face and the sun in my eyes. Indifferent about the destination and focused on the journey; because I know that summer doesn’t end.

slight

Have you ever felt small? You know, insignificant, or next to nothing; worthless almost, but maybe not that bad. The moments in my life where I have felt that way can be counted on one hand, probably using two fingers. Maybe I have been fortunate, who knows, but whatever the case I have never really felt that way until recently.

I am embarking on something new in my life. My family and I are apart of a new church plant and while it is exciting it has also been enormously humbling, especially of late. Initially when I felt the call to be apart of this new plant I believed I would play a large part; have a large role. While at the last church we attended I was very active and so my natural assumption was that I would play an even bigger part in something so small and intimate. It not only made sense but it seemed to be assumed by not only me but others as well.

But that just hasn't been the case.

For the past couple of weeks I have found myself to be resentful. Not of anyone person but of the entire process that I find myself in. I have taken to praying a lot, not just for this new church but even just for me and that I am where God wants me to be for His purpose. I'm being careful with that last sentence because I don't want to play the martyr either; God needs workers, not crybabies. But even as I write that I can't help but feel offended and slightly hurt over what I thought would be this big move for me.

But that's it isn't it? It's not about me. It never was.

Tonight while everyone was eating following our service I was directed to James 1 which I have been studying at home. I had already read chapter 1 but here I was again re-reading the chapter and there was verse three staring at me: "So don't try to get out of anything prematurely." What caught me off guard was how quick I was in thinking that I could simply back into some place of mediocrity since I hadn't gotten my way. But here was this verse saying, don't you dare. Then I thought about it a bit more and what hit me the hardest was Jesus' words telling me that "Whoever wants to be first, must be last". And just like that I remembered what He had put on my heart just a few years earlier and that is to be His servant.

So the wheels spun a little more and it occurred to me that while I have taken a backseat of sorts to this point, there are a few others who would have normally disappeared into anonymity, but are instead being used in a mighty way. This really hit me hard. God most certainly has plans for me but as usual, I am trying to insert my own plans in place, and it's not working out real well.

And so I find myself humbled. And it's a challenge.

 But James says to count my challenges as joy. James was a funny guy.

So while it feels like I'm not really serving, God is using this time to temper me and to teach me about being humble. He is teaching me about my pride and that I do not need it to serve Him. He is teaching me that I need to get out of the way so that He can work in my life.

He is teaching me that I am small. And He is great.

And for that, I am eternally thankful.

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My life is not mine, and yet it is mine to live for Him. Peace to you all.

Running along

What is it about running that makes it appealing and/or frightening? For a lot of folks I know, running is not easy and unless they’re being chased, it’s not happening. It should be easier though; you strap on some shoes, don some shorts and a light shirt and hit the road. There's not much to it really, it's just a simple activity.

Motivating people to get out and actually run however, is no easy task. There are always a few major obstacles to overcome first, like owning the right pair of shoes, or whether or not to run with music. Then there’s determining where to run and how far, especially if you’re a beginner. Mostly it’s just the fear of looking like a complete dork to all the people driving by.

Running is hard work. It takes time to develop the muscles in your legs so they don’t ache after every run. On top of it all, running seems to be the most fan un-friendly sport ever. Consider this; I can’t go out and buy my favorite runners jersey. When was the last time you saw a Ryan Hall or a Shalane Flanagan shirt at the store? (Extra points if you know either).

Being a runner also requires a willingness to get out there in the questionable weather, not just the sunny days. It takes a commitment that requires a certain self motivation that a lot of people lack. Most of all, you probably need to be a little weird to be willing to run distances like 26 miles…all at once…in the rain…just because.

The toughest thing about getting into running seems to be the belief that it is an individual sport. Let’s face it; running is not considered a team sport unless you’re on a relay team in track and field. In a team sport, we can jump into a softball game and know there are at least 8 to 9 other players on our team that can fill a void if we’re not very good. When you run, if you’re extremely slow it can be demoralizing and keep you from running at all. Then add sore muscles, sweat and exhaustion and we’re back to only running when chased.

It’s easy to see why running might be something to fear, especially when talking about marathon distances and aching joints. Running is certainly not for the faint of heart, but for some of us, running is therapeutic.

For me, this past 18 months has been about the little known aspect of running; the social side. I have made significant friendships in my running circles and I have discovered how much I enjoy running with someone, especially in order to carry on a conversation. There are not many sports where the same can be said, in fact there are no notable team sports where 2 people can carry on a conversation while in the midst of participating. This truly makes running unique.

Growing up, I did not want to be a runner. In fact, I can’t think of a single friend of mine who actually grew up wanting to be a runner. For those of us who have become runners, it’s something we added later in life. We determined that running might be good for us and we were all just sick enough in the head to try it. It turns out that running is not only good for us physically, but spiritually too.

This may not motivate you to hurry out, strap on those shoes and jog 13 miles but running is so basic, so intrinsic to who we are that nearly anyone can do it. Unlike many sports that take considerable coordination, running merely takes a little training and a little push to get out there. There is no question you can do it. And when you do, I’ll run with you.

apolitical follow up

Have you ever noticed the expectation of the American Christian that you and I be voters? It goes without saying that we should not only vote but our exclusive choice should be Republican. To me, this is nothing new, I have seen it for years, but the more recent observation is now that I’m apolitical, there is not only disbelief but even shock. You see, it is very un-American to choose not to vote. We may have rights that protect our choices but that won’t stop some from condemning for those choices.

Maybe it’s my new found perspective on this that has me so stunned but it could also be the willful ignorance of many. I have noted many times how foolish most people can be, especially regarding any subject with merit. Very little forethought is used on subjects of race, religion, science and politics. It’s easier to gut check everything and live moment by moment using only emotions. This reactive nature is predominant here in America where the majority is comfortable with the lifestyle of convenience. The less one has to do the better, especially when it comes to thinking.

Without thought, many jump to conclusions, which is why I suppose it doesn’t shock me to get the responses I get regarding my apolitical status. For me it took careful reflection and prayer to discern this path; it wasn’t an easy decision. Even after making this choice I struggle with the decision and continually find myself wanting to enter into a particular conversation or thread online. But like any addiction or habit, it takes time to break the chains and slowly, I have become less susceptible to those desires. Staying clear of that arena has been good for my soul.

I’m not sure this is for everyone. Clearly we need some level of government in order to manage the people and as such, there must be those with level heads and proper ethics to manage such tasks. My involvement is not necessary but at some point that may change. For now I am left to concentrate on that which is before me; kingdom work. Within that scope is a government with a solitary ruler whom I trust to make the right decisions for me. In His kingdom, all He asks of me is to believe and then love.

Could we live under that kind of rule? Isn’t that what Rob Bell pondered in the book Jesus Wants to Save Christians? For thousands of years mankind begged for a king, for a leader, for someone to be their head. God always granted the people their wish and kings came and went. Some were decent, some were deplorable and some should never have been a leader. We know now of course that God finally sent a king worthy of all praise but many did not see him, many did not recognize his authority. We have a leader today that if we would simply follow Him we would live blessed lives. But this is America.

Here in America we expect a leader that is just and who will understand what it means when we say “we the people”. We expect a conquering king who will rid us of those pesky terrorists. We demand a king who will break the chains of slavery to the oppressive regime we so desperately despise (insert your favorite ism here (socialism, fascism, extremism, etc.)). Does any of this sound familiar at all? Have you caught the point yet?

Like lemmings, we are collectively holding our breath until November at which point apparently we will somehow be saved, or possibly spared from some impending doom. You’re going to vote for a man in the hopes that he will save you from all the wickedness you see in the world. You will pin your hopes on a man with the idea that in a year or so things will magically get better. And when they don’t, your fickle nature will demand better and you will beat the drum of change until it comes time to vote again. Somehow you will expect this one person to fix everything, completely ignoring history and your own desires and their outcomes. The very definition of insanity may be inserted right here.

Your friends whom you agree with regarding these things will tell you that the only way to fix the problem is to get rid of the leader and get a new one. They, like you, have a clear picture of the perfect leader. A man who has your best interests at heart and will fill your bank account, land you the best job, complete your life and make everything right again. This mysticism is exactly what Americans hold onto every November and it is exactly the same mindset that the Israelites had about 2000 years ago.

And they missed it.

Your leader is already here and he’s been here for quite some time. He is just, He has your best interests at heart and has already made everything right again. But here’s the trick; the ONLY way to TRULY see Him is take your eyes off the flag and focus them on the cross. Your vote is not necessary, only your devotion. For most staunch Christian Republicans, I find that is simply not possible. For too many Christians in this country, pledging allegiance to the flag has become more important than keeping their eyes on Christ, in light of eternity and because of grace.

If that ever changes you will see one of the greatest revivals in the history of mankind.

In the meantime, I’m done.

My focus must remain on Him and the only way to do that is to stop putting so much focus on men, especially those who have no interest in me except what I can contribute to their ideology.

I have my family, my friends and my community. My goal will be serving those 3 in that order.

You? You’re going to vote. Let me know how things turn out, especially in about a year or so.

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My life is not mine, and yet it is mine to live for Him. Peace to you all.