Searching

Am I really just looking for the next best thing or have I already found it and don't know what I'm looking at?

The more I look around, the more I realize that most everyone around me is doing the same thing. Sounds corny but hear me out.

I'm not really lacking anything mind you, I am fortunate and blessed, but there's always something missing. Whether it's a solid friendship or maybe just the best chip, I'm always on the hunt.

My life is very full of things to do but it seems more like a packed schedule and less like a life with a mission. I contribute to a blog, I write a rotating column for the local paper, I'm on Facebook and Twitter and in all that, I am heavily involved in my community. I don't hide behind a curtain, the world knows me and I am always available.

And yet, I can't help but wonder if maybe it's time to just scratch it all and start over, to some degree at least. I suppose this merely sounds like a rut, and possibly it is, time may tell soon. I care so much about so many things but something has to give because I can tell, the time is now.

I'll figure some of this out on my own but collaborative community is what this world should really be about; coming together to make ourselves better for the benefit of those around us.

Change

Every time I turn around, something changes. That seems awful cliché but so be it, it needed to be said. Having two kids at home makes that statement rather obvious but beyond that, life seems to change moment by moment and usually doesn’t ask first. I’m not sure I would know how to respond if given the choice but who knows, it might be fun.

With the New Year, change is inevitable. Of course, if you bought into the idea that the world was going to end a couple of weeks ago, this New Year is a bit of a surprise. Outside of that nonsense, a calendar change means many things, not the least of which is having to remember the right month and day when writing checks. Other timely reminders are knowing that soon I will have to brave the card selection at the store for Valentine’s Day. Right now I’m doing my best to keep from running over there as I write this. For a change, maybe I’ll make my own card this year.

Change is typically a good thing for all involved. When asked, a lot of people eschew change as a pariah but if you were able to live on someone’s shoulder during and after major changes you would discover a different story. Certainly there are times when change is so drastic that it alters our every step but even then, the renewed outlook is the one thing we fail to see until afterwards and then we simply take it for granted after a while, as if it were always that way. What I’m saying is that change is almost always a good thing.

The process can be painful however, and we would do well to be sensitive to those whose lives are turned upside down. The truth is that change is not always easy, sometimes it rips us apart. But here’s what I’m learning: after I get through the storm and am able to look back on that which changed in my life, I have a perspective I didn’t know existed, I have experience, I have definition.

The trick is seeing past the change to the other side, where things settle down and life gets back to normal, or at least back to tolerable. Something else I’m learning during major life changes is the discovery of new or renewed friendships. Some of the greatest conversations have taken place during the most tumultuous of times, when change is at its peak. Maybe people just intuitively know when to jump in because that’s how it feels. And maybe I’ve done the same thing, I want to believe that.

And that’s what I want to be most, the constant in the sea of change, like a lighthouse. When we’re going through choppy seas that change our course we want to know there’s something out there that will help us steer clear of even bigger troubles. In those moments I think we honestly reach out for help in finding our way. We know that change is coming, there’s no avoiding it, but knowing there just might be a helping hand makes it seem a little less daunting of a challenge.

Embrace the change this New Year. Practice writing the date so you don’t mess up any checks. And practice listening for those around you who might be facing a change they weren’t prepared for; they may need your light.

Community

Redmond is my home and has been for nearly 7 years. In that time, I have gotten to know this town fairly well. It helps to have jumped in with both feet from the beginning. Beyond the neighbors, the friends and the acquaintances, there are the countless faces I just know from soccer and basketball and well, life. There are hundreds of faces and I seem to see most of them at the store; in the produce section. I’m not sure what that means.

Before living here, I lived in the oft maligned area known as The Valley. Had I known of this quirky reference, I might have moved sooner. However, that not being the case, I lived in a couple of different towns over there for the better part of 10 years and in that time I certainly got to know the area. I also got to know my fair share of people, some of which I still keep up with today. The significance of this is my viewpoint looking back; specifically in the way I interacted with those around me.

Over here, on the right side of the hill, I have learned to integrate. It’s not that I didn’t mingle with the masses over there but somehow, this is different. It might be maturity talking, or maybe the gray hair, but my life here is marked in a way that suggests community means something; where I live actually matters. It should go without saying that we should always strive to be in community with those around us, regardless of where we live, but again, this is different.

Here’s the thing, it’s not just that where I live matters, it’s that who I live with in community matters. We talk of making a difference in our communities and neighborhoods but to what end? When was the last time you went into your community and genuinely made an impact? This is not a reproachful question, but a sincere one. The person around the corner from you might be in great need, but in our moments of chaos known as everyday life, we often overlook that person. We don’t do it out of malice. We do it out of sheer ignorance. The truth is we simply don’t know enough about our neighbors.

Communities are shaped by the people in them. You and I make up this one and we have a daily choice to make. Say it with me: “I consciously choose to know the people around me and do what I can, when I can, to help anyone who needs it.”

Think about that. It doesn’t require you to drop everything and run down to the soup kitchen and feed the homeless for the next 2 weeks (although that would be valiant). The decision is to change your mindset. Your community needs you. And as equally important, you need your community.

M Scott Peck said, “There can be no vulnerability without risk; there can be no community without vulnerability; there can be no peace, and ultimately no life, without community.”

I’m finding my community a little more every day here in Redmond. Come find it with me.

Music to your ears

Music is so integral to the well being of my soul that I can’t imagine life without it. There is something special about lyrics laced with instruments that make my skin tingle. It has always been that way for me, always been more than just a song, more than just words on a page. Occasionally an instrumental piece (like Star Wars type) or even an a-cappella tune can send chills down my spine (you’re now humming Death Star music aren’t you?).

Mostly it’s the thoughtful collection of words and notes that tear at the very center of who I am. There must be others who feel the same, because otherwise such amazing music would have never been created. Music can literally move you when you are in tune with what you are hearing and feeling. Music becomes a part of you; it breathes inside of you.

Music is also relative. Everything we go through in this life has found its way into lyrics at some point. Our attachment is usually based on where we are at any given moment. Every emotion known to man can be found on a page of sheet music which is why we attach songs to memories and specific points in time. An example for me would be the song ‘Summer of 69’ by Bryan Adams. That song was a huge hit the summer I turned 16. It had come out just months before and everyone was singing it. I can still remember camping with my family and meeting a girl and holding hands while that song played; those were good times.

On the opposite end of that spectrum, there are certain songs I hear that make my heart heavy for many reasons. Each of us has events in our lives that appear to have a theme song behind them. Instance after instance pops into my head, especially of those tough times when the world seemed to be against me. There was always a song or two that embodied my perspective at that moment. Remember Richard Marx? I’ve tried to sear those songs out of my head too, it’s OK, but that guy knew exactly what I was going through; several times.

Songs can be backdrops for motivation (think Rocky), inspiration (think Chariots of Fire), relaxation (Enya) and reflection (Chopin's Fantasie Impromptu). This is a mere smattering of the range of emotions that music touches and in fact, just a tiny measure of the different genres you will find. Try exploring new music and you will find a plethora of choices you may have never heard of. I for one am not a big country music fan, but I hear that if you play it backwards you get everything you ever lost, back. The heart of rock and roll is still beating, however, so I tend to listen to it a lot.

Take the time to listen to each song you hear, there’s a story to every one. Listen for the emotion and soon you will do more than just hear it, you will feel it.

Must the summer end?

I need more long days where it stays light until ten and it’s warm all day. I need more days where popsicles are the rule and not the exception. I want more days of hanging at the splash park and praying for a gentle breeze from the east as we sit in the grass.

I long for more evenings spent watching baseball games with friends and family and barbeques where we talk for hours. More hikes up Smith Rock and more trail rides out at the Radlands with my kids. More of a lot of things that make our summer what we hope for.

Summer is kind of like every vacation you take where as soon as it’s over you’re already wishing you could have another day, or another week. I suppose the same can be said for nearly any positive experience, but summer is like a 3 month high. Maybe it’s time we extended summer to include parts of May and September, maybe turn the season into four months, or possibly five. Of course, with that philosophy we’ll all be working two days a week and enjoying 5 day weekends before long!

The iconic nature that is summer is found in the hearts and minds of children. It is them who know that each day brings a new chance to play with reckless abandon while having the opportunity to stay up later than usual. That mindset is what makes smiles, and from the moment school lets out my kids are covered in them. Every once in a while I catch a glimpse of what that feels like and poof, I’m a kid again.

As we near another fall and prepare for a new school year I am reminded of the cyclical nature of our lives. The leaves will change, the sweatshirts will be donned, the wind will come and our mindsets will adjust once again. I suppose that it’s good there’s an order because who knows where we would end up if there wasn’t one. But imagine if you could leave the sweatshirt on the shelf for a while longer.

Living in Central Oregon certainly affords us the opportunity to enjoy much more sunshine than our brothers and sisters to the west, but negative eight degrees is still cold, even if the sun is out. Like a “Choose your own adventure” book, I would love the chance to see what a year of summer felt like. A chance to enjoy the warmth that only comes for a couple of months each year.

Maybe it’s time to adjust my mindset to summer and keep it there. I want that feeling of reckless abandon and that perpetual smile that goes along with it and I want it all year long. Like a dog with his head out the window, enjoying the breeze in my face and the sun in my eyes. Indifferent about the destination and focused on the journey; because I know that summer doesn’t end.