Thursday, December 27, 2007

doom and gloom

based on what the so called experts are saying, the sky is falling. in fact the water is rising and the ice is melting and the temperature is rising and the water is becoming increasingly scarce and moose flatulence is to blame for it all. ok so i exaggerated just a tad on that last one, but let’s face it, who wants to smell moose farts? not me, that’s for sure.

so let’s just say the world as we know it is doomed and we all are soon to find out how long we can tread water. best case scenario in life is we grow old and move to florida anyway, so how bad could it get? i would rather go early than see myself in a member’s only jacket (again) and a pair of bermuda shorts and a panama hat, chasing after a 25 year old woman who only wants my money.

what exactly are we so bent on doing or becoming or having in this life? if you answer something along the lines of “a better life for my children than i had”, you are better than most. but ultimately, who’s life are you living? once my kids are old enough they will move out and into their own lives, which they will control (to some degree or another). i have a small amount of influence now but soon i will just be the know-nothing dad that they’re embarrassed to have their friends meet.

i may sound cynical here but i am going purely for realism and nothing else. at best we have about 70 years of productive living to look forward to after we turn 20 (prior to that, our lives are definitely not all that productive, let’s be real). this is assuming i can still function at the ripe old age of 90, although my grandfather is living proof so who knows. from where i am now, i have about 50 years left tops. with that in mind, it strikes me as odd how so many are so worthless in their attempts to chase after things they know they can’t take with them.

regardless of whether or not you believe in God or Buddha or the loch ness monster or the tooth fairy, one way or another you are going to die. when you do, all the things you accumulated will be split up by those who you left behind. you might get all tricky and write a will, then have an executor who presides over your estate in order to fulfill the legalities of what was in your will. but truthfully, once you’re gone, you’re gone. you don’t get to come back and start all over again and reclaim all your old stuff and keep going. in this video game there is but one life, if you catch my drift.

the more i think about it, the more i want as little as possible when i pass. my hope is to have given everything away before i go so there is nothing left for anyone to fight about. i’ve seen it too, people fighting over a loved ones things after they go. what’s the point, pretty soon we’ll all be gone and then what, what was all the fighting for anyway? you get only so many years to actually do something worthwhile in this life.

if the world is really so bad, why aren’t all the rich people spending like there’s no tomorrow? where is the mass panic on the part of all the really stupid people? when we turned the corner on 2000 from 1999, most of the idiots i knew rushed to the store to stock up on food and propane and generators. people cried right up until midnight for fear they would not see the sunrise. a lot of saps actually got out their video cameras and recorded their evening expecting to see some sort of apocolypse right before their eyes.

what i want to know is, if the apocolypse were really to have happened, what were these people planning to do with the tape? is bob sagat waiting at the pearly gates with a vcr? is allen funt going to scream that i’m on candid camera? if so i hope i have all my bling so i can really impress paula abdul who of course will be judging the proceedings. she will be high as a kite too, i’m sure.

here’s something to consider for all you fanatics of doomsday. you can spout off all day about science and global warming and elk tooting but let me be clear about one thing, when you’re gone, you’re gone. spend a little more time worrying about what happens after you die and less time trying to get the next spot on “the biggest loser”.

although the profundity in that statement will probably be lost, you have to admit that the greatest reality show never to hit the big screen is your own life and what you did with it. take some time in the next few days before another year escapes you and ask yourself what or who you are living for. look around you, are you surrounded by friends and loved ones or things and more loved things?

what is so wrong about loving the skin you’re in and living for today? what is so bad about being a real friend and helping those less fortunate than you? why is it so hard to just be nice?

some say give peace a chance, but be reminded that being peaceful also requires you to listen and attend to the needs of others that they may attain peace as well. there is work to be done and we may have to sweat a little to get there. just keep your gas to yourself, the moose are going to kill us all anyway.

my life is not mine, and yet it is mine to live for Him. Peace to you all.


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