Wednesday, October 31, 2007


“I write about love and such, maybe cuz I want it so much. You know I’m not who I was”

What a great line from a good song. It’s funny the things we search for or more aptly long for when we are devoid of them in our lives in some way. Love for instance is a fairly common thing that the heart pines for. When you don’t have it you almost always seem to want some level of it. Whether from a parent, a child, a spouse or a friend, when we want to be loved, that desire has a tendency to override nearly every facet of our lives. It is that strong.

I have written about a lot of things but one thing sticks out in my mind more than any other as I look back over the last couple of years. My desire has been to be more public with how I feel in regards to my faith. In August I wrote a piece titled ‘therapy’ in which I suggested being extremely bold.

Since then I have started some new trends. For instance I sing out loud quite commonly to songs I enjoy. In the past, the songs were probably more secular so as to blend or seek commonality with a possible listener. Today I am singing songs from my favorite Christian alternative station and not just the lyrics that would normally be deemed socially acceptable in any circle.

Another trend is to concentrate on Jesus 24/7, not just Sunday mornings when my church buddies are watching. Focusing on Christ is becoming a daily habit. It isn’t easy but I knew none of this would ever be. It was understood from the beginning that I would have to work at this. The result of this regular focus has been in my being an example for Him. I want others to see it in my face, to witness it in my attitude and to know there is something different about me that is contagious.

In the past several years I have tried to better understand other philosophies and strongly held religious beliefs. For me to properly deal with the public that I am faced with daily, I must know what motivates them. For some it is simply the money in their wallet or the lack thereof. For others there is a strong sense of faith, regardless of alignment with what I believe. In regards to other religions I have had to ask some very difficult questions, such as; ‘How easy would it be for you to give up your faith?’

People like you and I travel through this life believing that their religion is right and yours and mine is wrong, even if the only difference is the denomination. Ultimately we condemn others for their hypocrisy and feel justified by simply saying that “they will get theirs, God will see to that”.

So we dwell in our own faith and accept Jesus as our Savior and go to church on Sunday and try our best to be the good little Christian we think we ought to be. We are honest most of the time and do good things occasionally and give of our time and resources when possible, all with the intention of seeing Christ upon his return. But what throws me is I know the first question that’s coming. Our Lord is going to ask “What did you do with my son?”

I have thought long and hard about that question and ultimately I have to answer first by saying that I helped put him on that tree. Christ would not have had to die if not for our sins, so therefore I am as responsible as the next person. But in that moment I hope to follow that up by saying that while I am undeserving and not worthy, it is His grace that washes over me and sets me free. In His name I am given the free gift of eternal life.

Lastly, if there’s time and God hasn’t cut me off for talking too much, I hope to say that because Jesus died on the cross for me, the impact led me to live a life of service and gratitude for Him while telling others the good news. I hope to say that my life had some sort of impact on the kingdom. I hope that just one soul found Jesus because of the way I lived my life, because of the example I provided.

So here it is, a bit of culmination to the script. It is one thing to be filled with the Holy Spirit and know the truth and be passionate about what you believe in, but most of us keep it to ourselves. There is that apprehension that we will be mocked and looked down upon. We don’t want the discrimination or the funny looks. We like most of our friends, Christian or otherwise.
We live two lives, our Sunday life where we give it all to God for a few hours in the morning and then the other life where we give it all to something or someone else. It’s not that we’re purposely that way, it just happens. The deal is this however, the only Christian people that see the way you’re living are the ones you see on Sunday. The rest of the week you tend to be surrounded by people who need to see Jesus in you who may not know who He is. The most important time of the week for exemplifying your Christian walk is from Monday to Saturday, not Sunday morning.

Trust me when I say this is an ongoing battle for me, but it is one that with God’s help I am winning.

1 Thessalonians 5: 16-24 (The Message) says this,

"Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.
Don't suppress the Spirit, and don't stifle those who have a word from the Master. On the other hand, don't be gullible. Check out everything, and keep only what's good. Throw out anything tainted with evil.
May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together—spirit, soul, and body—and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ. The One who called you is completely dependable. If he said it, he'll do it! "

These verses help define what our focus should be. Keeping our eyes on that which we can count on, no matter what this life throws at us.

my life is not mine, and yet it is mine to live for Him. Peace to you all.


Monday, October 29, 2007

are you in line?

Let me preface this conversation by saying that my patience is wearing thin. It’s not that I hate anyone, in fact its best that no names are used so no ones feelings get hurt, but here we go…and what I mean to say is, excuse me whilst I grab the old box to stand on for this next tirade, or sermon rather.

The season for which I find myself is this, one of patience and kindness and understanding. Seriously, I think I could sit someone on the couch these days and listen real intently and then offer some real life changing advice. Of course there are a few pieces of wood that would have to be removed from the sofa first, but I’m sure you understand, and in fact would wait a few minutes while I hauled them past you into the waiting room. I need to provide seating you know.

Clearly there is contradiction here. First my patience is wearing thin then I say that I am in a season of patience. I know, hard to follow, hard to understand, but I can explain. The patience that I do have seems to be in a holding pattern. Occasionally I come across people in my life who deserve it and then there are those that don’t. So maybe the season is more about discernment than patience, but stick with me here.

It’s like this for me really. I go back and forth all the time. I have been called ADD (attention deficit disorder) by friends. It might have something to do with the gallons of coffee I consume daily, but that is merely speculation. What I do know is this, I have compassion some days and complete disdain on others. Does this happen to you too? There are days I could buy the world a soda and teach it to sing and then there are other times I want to smack half of ‘em upside the head and ask where they left their collective brains.

The only thing, and I mean LITERALLY the only thing that keeps me sane most days are the conversations I have with God, who seems to be constantly reminding me how little I am in comparison to the big picture. So of course I listen intently as He always has some real enlightening things to say. Mostly what I hear Him tell me is that I need to be more patient. So I try that, for about an hour, and it works great too, for about an hour.

If you know me well enough you know I talk a lot, but I think more than I talk, imagine that one. There is no time I am not thinking of something, except maybe when sleeping and there is room for debate there. So with all this thinking going on I am always bombarded with rational and irrational thoughts pertaining to everyday living and the day to day interaction with those around me.

I like to believe that I am insightful, that the majority of the thoughts that pervade my head are above par and leading to bigger things. But as I am constantly reminded by He who is omni-insightful, I am not quite there yet.

When I was younger I believed that most intelligence was book bought and therefore required not just much thought and concentration on subject matter, but much open discussion relating to any given topic. So therefore I talked a lot, about everything.

As I have aged I have discovered that much learning can also be had by little or no dialogue, simply by listening and observing the time and space that surrounds each of us. By paying attention to most of the little details of my day I have ascertained that most people are just here for the free t-shirt, the one that says “huh?”

So naturally I have to ask myself a few tough questions, like do I want my kids to be as insightful as I portend to be or to just “jellyfish it” through life. Do I need to just pray more for peace and understanding and concentrate on what I can do for Him and His kingdom? Maybe its time to get in line for the shirt.

my life is not mine, and yet it is mine to live for Him. Peace to you all.



Why do we let a political view, republican or democrat, cloud our religious and biblical landscapes? Is it that we somehow equate God as being a part of one or the other party? How often do we forget that the men in power are just that, men. Men who are, and have been for centuries, corrupted by power. Failing to follow Jesus’ guidelines of being a servant to those who serve, of striving for peace in any situation. Avoiding conflict, being content and living beyond reproach. In the end, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Look at the field of science. Since the late 1700’s, man has been quite literally obsessed with explaining every little thing in the universe. Without proper evidence to support many theories, man turned to the only thing it could use, rational thought based on repeated testing to create a consistent and so called factual result. With these "factual results" men of science began to wield a new kind of power, that of influence based on, of all things, theory.

And what if the resuls are less than expected? Skew the data to provide the best possible outcome. Don’t believe me? This is the science of man, always has been and always will be. A world filled with the greatest skeptics on the planet. Hell bent on proving a point for the good of man kind, or at least scientific kind. The power that is afforded some scientists is staggering. It is not uncommon for some of these men to refer to themselves as gods.

pardon my musings today, it's just some thoughts i've had...

Tuesday, October 9, 2007


a wise man once said, “i’m either up or i’m getting up but i am never down.”

recovering from failure starts with accepting that failure, which leads to understanding and then ultimately to learning from the failure, provided you are paying attention long enough to see the point.
learning from our failures, or mistakes, is not only key but a paramount necessity in this life. however, all too often what happens is the opposite, we live in the moment. we almost welcome the depression, if only to prove to others how we have survived, because everyone loves the tough survivor type.
tattoos are the rage these days you know. we carve our mistakes on our arms for everyone to see. we are told we are tougher for having been through an ordeal but we never do anything about it really. we don’t learn from it, we just make a plaque. we don’t use the opportunity to grow, we blame someone or something else and then do it again. after all we’re vindicated for our actions, or more aptly our mistakes. it must be the way we were raised, or where we were brought up, or the car we drive or the clothes we wear that makes us do the bad things we do. those things are what make us experience the failures in life.
now, let me step off the soapbox for a second and explain a few things. first, accepting failure means taking responsibility for yourself. you are not, nor will you ever be while on this planet, perfect. the crap you buy or the pills you take will not fix this problem. accept who you are for who you are, an imperfect being. now accept something else, God loves you for who you are now, he’s not waiting until you get yourself through therapy.
look around. the people you see that are the happiest are not that way because they have money. it’s not because they took a better pill or spent more time with the shrink. it’s not because they live in a nicer part of town or drive a nicer car. what sets the happy people apart is no secret. in fact your mother has been telling you for years. of course we all think our parents are outmoded and simply have no clue, so we stopped listening a long time ago.
mom always said, if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say anything at all (love your neighbor). mom always said, you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit (contentment). dad always said, if you don’t have time to do something right the first time the second time will be worse (focus). dad always said, we’ll get there when we get there (patience).
we are so self absorbed in our own lives that we miss so much. when we experience failure we wrap ourselves in it. then failure throws a saddle on us and rides us until we’re broken. and we buy into it every time. stop.
secondly, learning from our failures is really quite simple. when confronted with a mistake, accept it and look at it for a second. then ask one question. God, what can you show me from this that will make me a better person so that i might be more equipped for the next time? don’t spend time analyzing it or telling everyone you know, take it to God.
God is standing at the plate of your life, ready to hit that failure out of the park. you have to serve it up (and lay it down) for God to take it and teach you through it all. (pardon the baseball reference but it is october).
third and last is this. after accepting your failure and then learning from it with God’s help, move on. self deprecating behavior is not flattering, no matter how tight your jeans are or how great you look in that muscle shirt. your learning from a failure will do more good in your life as well as everyone else’s, than wasting away declaring how bad things are around you. move on.
and it’s not the happy people that want you to move forward, it’s all the pretentious self important people who feel you’re stealing their lime light. so get over it and move on, because i promise you, there are many more failures headed your way. it is an unfortunate byproduct of who we are. but there is hope. as you learn from the past, it will help you be prepared for the future and whatever this life throws at you. this explains the happy people.
they are not wallowing. they are not worried about tomorrow, at least not so you can see. they are content with what they have. they are nice to their neighbors and friends and even the strangers they come in contact with. they are patient. and they take the time to do some things right. are they perfect? not by a long shot. but they are learning as they go and becoming wiser for it.
learn to love those around you. be content with what you have. focus on the important things. and be patient. your failures will seem mighty small when your energy isn’t completely sapped from shining a spotlight on them for everyone to see.
forgive others for their shortcomings, and know that God forgives you for yours. then you can learn to forgive yourself. then you can move on. then you can find some happiness. besides, i know a few people that might want their soap box back.

my life is not mine, and yet it is mine to live for Him. Peace to you all.

Thursday, October 4, 2007


Have you missed me? I’ve missed you, really I have. I write a lot but lately have been writing for no one, just randomly posting thoughts on some of my favorite sites and starting and not finishing some pieces that aren’t quite ready to post.

I hate being preoccupied, being caught up in something that takes away from what I would rather be doing, but then who doesn’t? I have to admit that this past summer has been good from the standpoint of simply enjoying the weather. But then I got conflicted. And then there was a little hiccup in the middle that made it a whole lot easier to relax. But what I didn’t do this year was work like a dog the whole summer.

Changing jobs was not in the plan but ultimately it all worked out. I just had to let go of the wheel long enough to realize that I wouldn’t crash if I just remembered who was really driving. I kind of prefer the white knuckle approach myself but lately the knuckles were losing feeling from a loss of circulation, if you catch my drift.

So now I feel like I can concentrate on whatever again, maybe post about once a week or more. I have to shy away from politics though. I found that after one of my last posts (see, “I have a theory”), I was very angry and didn’t want to write about anything. Then I took my frustrations to the web and found some good outlets with which to vent.

The baseball playoffs are here, GO BOSTON!!! I have no allegiance for Boston actually but I know a guy who hates Boston so much that he has a bet going with another guy I know that if Boston goes to the World Series, this first guy is going to shave his head. Keep in mind that this guy is 48, has never had a bald head and if and when this happens, he will be mistaken for an alien from 1975. There will be pictures.

College football is also here, GO WAZZU. Of course the team I like is miserable again this year, just like last year. So maybe I should root for a team that has a chance to go somewhere at the end of the season, like maybe the Ducks. I don’t know though, there’s just something so tame about a duck as a mascot, it doesn’t exactly strike fear in the heart of an opponent. Of course, come to think of it, same goes for the Beavers, but at least they have two College World Series championships to their credit in the past two years.

Also, in case you hadn’t noticed, winter is here. I would like to say that fall is here but around these parts, apparently fall is over in about a week. We get right into winter with a bang, no sneaking up to it over the course of several weeks. There is a real chance of snow overnight already, and we just hit October!! I just barely got the shorts and t-shirts put away and now I’m trying to remember where I put my good hat and gloves. Tomorrow when I leave for work I have been advised to dress warmly and watch for ice on the road. It’s supposed to be 31 degrees by 6am!!

I hope all is going well in your lives. I hope that you are right where God wants you right now. I hope you are searching for new ways to praise Him. Look for more from me right away and thank you for reading.

my life is not mine, and yet it is mine to live for Him. Peace to you all.