Monday, January 21, 2008


We all experience it right? I mean, everyone ages so there’s no getting away from it, but I really feel there are certain periods of your life where you don’t feel like you have aged at all. For instance, there is a large chunk of my twenties that all felt the same. I could repeat that statement about my thirties as well.

Lately however I am feeling very much like an old man. There are sure to be those older than I that would scoff at such a statement, but being in my late thirties does not qualify me for a lifetime IHOP membership, I’m not ready yet!! In the last few months I feel more like late eighties than late thirties and am getting all these weird pains.

I know, woe is me and alas and all that, there are so many out there so less fortunate than I so how could I complain, but really, my body was not meant to swear off beer, pizza and coffee for two weeks and then slowly ease back into each after that. These are serious withdrawals people, I have to take medicine to boot!!!

I must sound like such a whiner, but a few of these pains are more than just growing old. Someone I don’t know has been following me around stabbing me in the back with a really large and very sharp knife. That is just one of the hurts lately that has me feeling like my 95 year old grandfather.

I think I have reached a magic age where a select number of parts begin failing, kind of like your VCR the day after the warranty expires, or parts on your car when you’re halfway into a cross country road trip. But unlike the car, if something stops working I can’t run down to the salvage yard and pick out another one. If something falls off, that’s just the way the cookie crumbles, or my body, whichever.

So in the midst of my trials currently, I have had to give up a couple of my staple comfort food groups, namely coffee and pizza. In fact anything that may be on the heavy acid side is out for now. So pardon me if I come off a little cranky when you see me, the lack of French roast and pepperoni in my diet has me seeing a Tums bottle, which is not a pretty sight.

Fortunately I have humor, and a few good spirited friends to remind me what I’m missing on a regular basis :-( With friends like mine, who needs an acid reflux medicine? Meanwhile, I am now relegated to using one of those weekly pill boxes with the first letter of each day on it…I’m not really but how close am I really?

The next thing you know my left foot is going to fall off and the doc is going to prescribe me something that only has twenty three side effects, one of which is feeling my age. I gotta tell ya, I am gonna be one grumpy old man!!



jolielee said...

o man. is this what i have to look forward too! :0. God help me.

ps. im not making light of what your going through but your blog was a bit on the humoris side :)-

jolielee said...

P.S.S. I better get going. I have to finish my latte before it gets cold ;)-

Anonymous said...

You are using one of those pill containers... it's just for your dog, who we have lamented about getting old for some time now... sucks when you catch up with your dog, huh :-) I'll still love you when you can't eat anything and you only have one foot.