Wednesday, April 9, 2014

My dog, the cat

My dog thinks she’s part cat, and based on the amount of time she sleeps during the day, I’m inclined to believe it. Also, because of how much she sheds, year round, she is a terribly messy cat to boot. There is certainly some dog in her and of course, she does bark from time to time but this almost seems like a front or a diversion.

Many believe that a dog is man’s best friend and my first dog was certainly the embodiment of that phrase. I adored him and he was my buddy, always so excited to see me and always ready to please. Before he (Boo) passed away we acquired our current dog/cat, knowing full well that Boo was going to be gone soon. Our new dog (Scout) came with a few interesting warnings, such as she did not like women; at all. When I first met Scout, I was somewhat indifferent because of my attachment to Boo, but when my wife and daughter met Scout, it was love at first sight. And even though Scout was supposedly not that into women, she took to my wife and daughter from the word go. We adopted her the very next day after having met her at a downtown fair.

Oddly, Scout is not a “man’s best friend” kind of dog. She was, and still is, a dog who will follow my wife around incessantly as if my wife is holding the last dog treat; ever. I have tried repeatedly to win favor from Scout by taking her for walks (she usually makes it 1 block before ripping her head out of her collar and running home), playing with her (she becomes ultra submissive after a few minutes and usually pees on herself), being overly doting (typically, she makes a bee line for her bed and won’t come out unless I have food) and petting her nearly every chance I get (all she wants to do is lick my hand).

I suppose I was expecting too much from a dog. I had hoped that Scout might be a running buddy that would run with me whenever I went jogging. I tried it once. We actually made it 2 whole blocks before she stopped and looked at me as if to say, “you sir, are completely mad”. Scout also hates the water and refuses to go into a lake or the ocean. Bath time is tantamount to some wicked form of medieval torture. I may have also recently traumatized her by throwing her into a 3 foot snow bank of fresh powder. Scout stands approximately 12” high and while she hopped out like a rabbit, I’m pretty sure she was doing so while planning my demise.

All of this is not to say that Scout is a bad dog, she’s just a weird dog. In some odd attempt to lick the faces of everyone, she will stand on her hind legs and put her front paws on you, completely stretched out, as if standing up like a human. When Scout gets excited, she will jump straight up from that position. She has been known to “walk” to my wife before while standing upright; it’s hilarious.

At night, she will use her nose to completely cover herself with her blanket in an almost cocoon like nature. My wife thinks this is cute but I’ve never seen another dog do it, so therefore it’s weird. In an effort to enhance the cute factor, we have purchased a few outfits for her, especially for when it’s cold out. Scout wears them well but I often wonder what she must think. Then I remember, she’s part cat; she doesn’t think.

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